Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week
Monday
What a great call for Dave to get ‘bloody angry’! It’s passionate, sexy and modern, not to mention emotionally intelligent, yet also authoritarian and traditional, and a tiny bit kinky at the same time. All the girls agree that it really suits him and should be used more often. Apparently Jed got it from Google in California where the execs often become ‘bloody angry’ in a dynamic way, usually in special areas filled with ergonomic stress scrunchers and organic beanbags. We are now thinking of coming up with just such a space at CCHQ, to compliment the Austerity Room. Some kind of Anger Zone would be just so exciting and give us all a chance to channel in a constructive way the v difficult feelings which have been coming up for all of us surrounding the terrible goings-on of the past few weeks. I’m feeling a lovely sense of well-channelled fury just thinking about it.
Tuesday
Anger: Moderate. Rage: Fair, rising at times, mostly in a leftwards direction, though also quite teed off with Mr Maude for ringing every five minutes to ask whether Dave has read his memo on the ‘disastrous’ new poll showing our lead falling by one point to ‘only’ 13 points ahead. I said I shouldn’t think so. Told him if he wants Dave to read a memo it’s probably best not to call it ‘Plans for a Fourth Term in Opposition.’ Also bit miffed that my name seems to have been the only one not put into Damian Green’s computer by the police during the keyword search. They put ‘Wonky Tom’ in. You would have thought they could have worked out that he doesn’t actually call himself that on his email, wouldn’t you? Are they stupid or what? Feel quite cross just thinking about it.
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