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Sunday 27 May 2012

Alan Sugar: the rare rat that joins a sinking ship

Could anything more confirm this government's hapless, pointless, useless, desperate, incompetence than the appointment of Alan Sugar* as "Enterprise Czar" (whatever the hell that is)? Doubtless this is something to do with the idea of a "government of all the talents". Sheesh. Still, why end here? Readers are invited to speculate which of these preposterous characters should be the next to join the government and which jobs they should have:

Richard & Judy

Gillian McKeith

Ant & Dec

Ainsley Harriot

Noel Edmonds

Carol Vorderman

Paul Daniels

Simon Cowell

Susan Boyle

*American readers will have been spared having to know who Sugar is. Suffice it to say that he's the presenter of the British version of The Apprentice and that this move by Brown is, therefore, rather like bringing Donald Trump into government. Yes, really. For once you might be hard pressed to make this sort of nonsense up.

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Johnathan Pearce

June 5th, 2009 2:17pm Report this comment

I saw Sugar give an interview this morning. He came across as a thug, boorish and rude to the presenters. What does GB see in this over-rated, ghastly man?

James C

June 5th, 2009 2:26pm Report this comment

Sir Alan Sugar is a successful entrepreneur, despite what you say.
However, his judgment is severely suspect, going by the hiring and firing he does on The Apprentice.
Not to mention the fact that he thinks Brown is "resolute".

James C

June 5th, 2009 2:26pm Report this comment

anon

June 5th, 2009 2:30pm Report this comment

Simon Cowell - Speaker?

Bob Jones

June 5th, 2009 2:38pm Report this comment

Jonathan Ross as Minister for the Elderly.

Ian Walker

June 5th, 2009 4:00pm Report this comment

Jeremy Clarkson as Environment Minister?

Robin Roberts

June 5th, 2009 4:18pm Report this comment

This is a genuine and juicy quote from 1992 from Alan Sugar on Gordon Brown:

"“I have noted with disgust the comments of a certain Mr Gordon Brown who has accused me of doing well out of the recession….I do not know who Mr Gordon Brown is. Excuse my ignorance, but I don’t. Whoever he is, he has not done his homework properly. The man doesn’t know what he is talking about….Labour offers no route out of recession.”

Shep

June 5th, 2009 4:21pm Report this comment

How about a post for Angus Deyton? I understand he's free again.

Shep

June 5th, 2009 4:24pm Report this comment

Sorry: Deayton. Showing this level of competence, perhaps I should volunteer for the cabinet.

Liam Herrick

June 5th, 2009 4:26pm Report this comment

Ant and Dec-regional affairs
Carol Vordedman-education obviously because she's terribly good with sums
And maybe stick Paul Daniels as Chancellor

TomTom

June 5th, 2009 4:27pm Report this comment

So what about the great export business Sugar built ? The great technologies he developed ?

The reputation for quality and innovation his businesses sre renowned for ?

Sugar seems to be little more than a market trader turned property developer....he is no Henry Royce nor a James Dyson

SimplerDave

June 5th, 2009 4:36pm Report this comment

"I saw Sugar give an interview this morning. He came across as a thug, boorish and rude to the presenters. What does GB see in this over-rated, ghastly man?"

A kindred spirit?

peter watkins

June 5th, 2009 6:29pm Report this comment

Here here.

Who the &&&& is advising Gordo?

A more loathsome individual I cannot think of.

Why do we watch the programme?
Its down to Dickens' 'attraction of repulsion'.

Dirty Den would have been a better bet.

Horrible.

Aye Gordius

June 5th, 2009 6:37pm Report this comment

Kirsty Squawk as Chief Press Secretary. It would save him the effort of pummeling Fraser himself!

Daniel Lionsden

June 5th, 2009 6:58pm Report this comment

Richard & Judy- Czar and Czarina of adult literacy

Gillian McKeith- special plenipotentiary for nutrition

Ant & Dec- special envoys for international peace

Ainsley Harriot- ambassador for ethnicity

Noel Edmonds- Grand Vizier of the paranormal sciences

Carol Vorderman- Supremo for mathematical advancement

Paul Daniels- Witchfinder general

Simon Cowell- Chairman of the star chamber

Susan Boyle- Head of the new underdog department

Simon Mallett

June 6th, 2009 10:12am Report this comment

The trouble is the ship continues to sail. Sugar will stay in the Lords long after Brown is kicked out of power. These government appointees should be given short-term contracts in the Lords and leave when their bosses leave.

Demetrius

June 7th, 2009 5:19pm Report this comment

In "The Apprentice" he gave the prize to a male fragrance product that probably acts as a spermicide. So what he might do in Government is deeply worrying.