Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody

13 June 2009

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

Wednesday

What fun! We’re having an online charity auction of all the stuff Tory MPs bought on expenses, a sort of Conservative car boot sale! I don’t think I’ve any chance of getting the duck house, way above my price range. But I might bid for the two-seater sofa, complete with leopard-print suedette cushions. All proceeds to a range of good causes including the newly founded ‘Conservatives in Crisis — helping needy MPs to repay their expenses since June 2009’.

Lot of discussion about how Dave should be nice to Gordon at PMQs. We may be the only ones who can save him now and goodness knows it’s in our interest. Trouble is finding something nice to say. Some sort of tribute to his pioneering ideas on scrappage perhaps.

Thursday

Mr Hague rings in from Brussels v stressed. He says a Latvian MEP just punched him in the face. The funny little man — the Latvian, not Mr Hague, obviously — says he was contacted by a Tory official and asked if he and his family would like to take part in a bondage session with other like-minded, free and easy individuals of a transvestite persuasion. Oops! I must get another phrasebook.

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Grumpy Old Man

June 11th, 2009 12:19pm Report this comment

What makes CCHQ think that a Hard-Left Racist party would ever join a centre-right one-nation group?
Get your masters to sit down and watch "The Great Dictator". The way to deal with all socialists is to ridicule them - which is why Billy Hagues speech yesterday was so devastating.

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