The Spectator's Notes

9 February 2008

Charles Moore's reflections on the week

A drastic solution to the intrusions of TV Licensing (see previous Notes) reaches me from Cornwall. Martin Tutthill, a teacher, tells me that he was pestered by letters demanding he buy a licence. Because he did not have a television, he wrote ‘NO TELEVISION’ in crayon on one letter and sent it back. More letters came, so he wrote ‘NO TELEVISION, S***HEAD’, but still the letters flowed. Then Mr Tutthill bought a television, and a licence. But letters demanding money with menaces still arrived, and then an inspector called. Mr Tutthill invited him in and locked the door. He showed him his television and his licence, and then said, ‘Sit down, and have a cup of tea. I want you to read out every letter your people have sent me. If you try to leave, I’ll break your arm.’ At this, the inspector said, ‘You’re threatening me.’ Mr Tutthill said, ‘Yes I am. And you people threatened me with a court appearance and a criminal record though I’d done nothing wrong. Sit down and read them out.’ The poor inspector sat down and started to declaim the huge pile of TV Licensing letters which Mr Tutthill had accumulated. After about an hour, he began to cry. Mr Tutthill then took pity on him, and cut the session short. As he released the inspector, he told him, untruthfully, ‘I know where you live. If I get any more of those letters, I’ll come and hunt you down.’ He has had no more trouble from TV Licensing.

Previous page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

More articles from: Charles Moore | this section

Print this article | Email to a friend | Permalink | Comments (2)

Post this entry to: del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit

Post comment

AppalledofLondon

February 7th, 2008 1:16pm Report this comment

I recently bought a digital box from John Lewis giving them my maiden name. My TV licence is in my married name. So now I've started receiving the menacing letters. I'm looking forward to torturing the inspector when he comes. Perhaps the trick is to give shops a rubbish name and/or rubbish address oi the TV licensing people can't learn to behave themselves.

Tim Worstall

February 8th, 2008 11:36am Report this comment

"He exclaims that ‘An MP is paid less than a sous-chef in the Commons’, as if this were a self-evident absurdity." It is an absurdity. Sous-chefs in London are paid £22k to £30k.

Post comment