Diary of a Nottting Hill Nobody

17 May 2008

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

Wednesday

Only three people have put their names down for cheerleader duty, two of whom I seriously doubt can do a cartwheel. Poppy reckons some of the girls are not keen on wearing the gym pants. How strange.

Big huddle on whether Dave and Sam should appear on the next season of Mr & Mrs. Gary’s instinct is to go for it. Jed thinks it might look cheap. As Gary said, cheap never did Tony any harm. And we do need more chav appeal now that Boris is making things difficult for us by being an Old Etonian London Mayor.

OK so he’s popular — apparently more popular than Dave if the so-called opinion polls are to be believed. But are people really that deliriously excited about him? I mean, he’s just a guy with blond hair for goodness sake. No need to get hysterical about it. Well, not that hysterical anyway.

Thursday

Oh dear. Poor Mr Lansley managed to come out in support of the only Labour amendment on abortion — and he had four Tories ones to chose from! He is a chump!

Captain Smithy demanding to speak to Dave but Jed gave us specific instructions — anyone who puts him through is on weekend duty till the general election. Now he says he’s ‘coming right over’. Have activated the email alert. Just hope everyone gets it in time to evacuate.