An affair to remember
I was sent this Bar Mitzvah invite the other day. It's no doubt spurious, but it's nonetheless got elements of the truth about it:
It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue
and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,
that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son
Jacob Adam
at the ungodly hour of 9 am (even though you don't really need to be there until 10:20am to catch the real action).
If you make it through the 3 hour service, please skip the kiddush
(its just cookies and cake) and join us instead for the ostentatious evening meal (Kosher, my husband's idea), which starts at 7 PM
(not 8 PM or you will miss out on the 2000 canapes).
Birchwood Country Club, 25 Kings Hwy S, Westport, CT 06880
(which we had to join just for this event and
you would not believe the initiation fees)
Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are attending,
or you will be billed for $210.00 a plate if you are a no-show.
and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,
that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son
Jacob Adam
is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah.
Saturday, May 12th - (yes we realize its Mother's Day Weekend)
Temple Israel,
at the ungodly hour of 9 am (even though you don't really need to be there until 10:20am to catch the real action).
If you make it through the 3 hour service, please skip the kiddush
(its just cookies and cake) and join us instead for the ostentatious evening meal (Kosher, my husband's idea), which starts at 7 PM
(not 8 PM or you will miss out on the 2000 canapes).
Birchwood Country Club, 25 Kings Hwy S, Westport, CT 06880
(which we had to join just for this event and
you would not believe the initiation fees)
Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are attending,
or you will be billed for $210.00 a plate if you are a no-show.
Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not the day before the cut-off date.
I can't take the stress.
The gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account number.
Hope you can make it! Lisa and David Miller
Dress: Black Tie optional
Theme: 007 James Bond Kippot and Matching Eye Patch will be provided