Dear Mary
Your questions answered
Q. Our 16-year-old son is having 30 friends to a party. For obvious security reasons my husband and I will not go out but have agreed not to show our faces downstairs. This raises a problem with food. Our son refuses to have any, complaining that pizza, sausages, baked potatoes, chicken legs in barbecue sauce, et cetera — all things that can be prepared in advance — are ‘childish’ and too redolent of children’s parties. I feel his guests will not only feel cheated of food but will also get very drunk. What do you suggest, Mary?
Name withheld, London SW7
A. On the day go to Prêt a Manger and buy 30 sandwiches. Leave them in their packaging, ranked up for the teenagers to help themselves. They will judge this form of catering to be cool.
Q. On arrival at a London hotel I usually insist on carrying my own case to my room because of uncertainty about how much to tip the bell-boy at, for example, Claridge’s. I consider it better to pretend my case is too light to bother with than risk tipping the wrong amount. Please advise.
J.F., Wanborough
A. If you are to stay in a hotel with bell-boys, then you must play the game. Let the bell boy take your case/bag and tip him £5 to £10.
Q. How can I tactfully tell a friend who emails me too often that I simply don’t have the time for an epistolary relationship? I know her enthusiasm is partly on account of her enjoyment of her own writing style, but I cannot just ignore these emails for a couple of days since they are a far cry from impersonal blogs and always include questions which need to be urgently answered.
Name and address withheld
A. Tell her your life coach, a friend whose advice you value, has ordered you to reply to emails only once every two days so she should not worry if she does not get instant responses. This will dampen her ardour and help her to moderate her output.
Q. It seems that the two most celebrated of London SW1 emporia no longer do really big bath towels — six foot long or so. Can you help? This information may be vital to many of your readers.
S.C., Northamptonshire
A. Giant bath towels are very useful disguises where people have larded on too much poundage and, of course, white is the only acceptable colour. The White Company at 8 Symons Street, SW3 (near Sloane Square) sells white organic cotton bath sheets 150 x 100 cms for only £23. You can also buy these online.
Q. At the risk of attracting a further accusation of pedantry, may I draw your attention to the inadequate use of punctuation in your articles concerning the ‘black taxi rapist’ (8 and 15 March)? The simple insertion of a hyphen (as in, ‘black-taxi rapist’) would have averted any possible accusation of racial stereotyping. I write to correct you since there are readers (mainly of the Guardian newspaper) who believe that it is their duty to take offence at such things on behalf of others who couldn’t care less. This case provides clear proof that the much-maligned and largely discarded hyphen still has an important role to play in modern journalism.
A.M., Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk
A. Readers will be in full agreement with you. Thank you for highlighting this inadequacy.