Dear Mary

Your problems solved

Q. Two writer friends who were due to join us for dinner last Thursday night arrived at 9.30 p.m. instead of the agreed time of 8.30 p.m. They claimed to be completely unaware that the clocks had gone forward a full five days beforehand. Neither of them works in an office and neither watches television. Even so — Mary, can you rule, for how many days after the clocks have gone forward, or back for that matter, is it still acceptable to be unaware of the time change?

C.B., Aldeburgh, Suffolk

A. Even those recluses who divorce themselves entirely from the rest of the world should be aware, after a maximum 24 hours, that something has changed in the world. The scientist Rupert Sheldrake would probably say that they would absorb this information by morphic resonance even if no clocks were available. Your friends’ excuse bleats of childishness and attention-seeking. You should have given them a brief but quite gritty verbal warning before proceeding to welcome them in the manner that normal rules of hospitality dictate.

Q. I was recently put on the spot at an Easter house-party when my hostess asked me to do a turn. Other people were able to belt out a song at the piano or recite a poem; one person even did a difficult yoga position to great applause, but I am not musical or good at recitation and was put on the spot. Thankfully my hostess moved on but I felt embarrassed and inadequate. What should I do if this happens again?

P.K., Hay on Wye

A. The following card trick can be mastered by virtually anyone. Take the six of hearts and the seven of diamonds and place them on the top of a stack of cards. Ask another partygoer to turn over these two cards and flash them quickly around the room before replacing them on the top of the pile. Tell your audience that you will magic these two cards to the bottom of the pile. Then pull a face of concentration and ripple the cards from top to bottom without shuffling them. Triumphantly remove, from the bottom of the pile, the cards you have already positioned there — the seven of hearts and the six of diamonds. On average, 99.9% of partygoers are taken in. Always refuse to repeat the trick.

Q. I am an actor, currently between jobs. I have been tutoring a 12-year-old boy for his Common Entrance. The boy’s mother is incredibly rich and lately divorced. Because she has nothing to do all day other than worry about her children’s prospects, she insists that I come to the house every day for the rest of the Easter holidays and thereafter every weekend and early evening until C.E. The boy is actually quite bright and does not need that much help and I feel the poor chap should be allowed a bit of a break after school. On the other hand, I do need the money. What is the morally correct thing to do?

Name and address withheld

A. Clearly this mother has enjoyed your company and would like to prolong your engagement so that she can use you, effectively, as a paid companion and masculine presence in the house. Why not suggest a compromise which is that you can spend half of your time with the boy and the other half providing ‘social support’ to his mother As an actor you should enjoy taking on several different roles such as psychotherapist, manservant, butler and dinner guest. In this way everyone benefits.