A charisma free zone

Hysteria

interesting CV.....and if she was a field officer for AQ at least we would know her likely position on foreign policy....

Sir Arnold Robinson

Right on the money as usual, Rod. Introducing Lady Catherine Ashton - the new Outreach Officer for Europe. Grim.

Tiberius

I have to disagree, Rod.

I should have thought that the fact she can offer nothing that will assist anyone with anything useful is a perfect qualification for all those non-posts she's held.

Frank S

Oh for the loot to have your piece printed as a flier and distributed in the streets to millions throughout Europe, including the EU! It should also be nailed by the bar in every pub in the UK. A fine piece of polemic, if I may say so.

Wilhelm

She's got a face like a bag of spanners.

Ray

She is obviously the perfect exemplar of everything that New Labour stands for.

Jez

That's one bonnie lass.

Nick Cohen

She is married to Peter Kellner, though, Rod. Perhaps Bob Worcester's wife will be the next secretary-general of NATO.

Dixon

As a Libertarian and anti-religion agnostic, Gnostic, Existential Nihilist, I have always regarded The Bible with a degree of contempt. A simple tribal fairytale. Although the Book of Revelations was a good source for horror movies. As Steve Merchant ( in character ) at one of his last stand-up gigs once said "My dad said: I've been reading the Book of Revelations...it doesnt look good!"

Now, however, this weeks developments in EU has, and without any irony intended here, actually forced me to wonder if Biblical prophecy could be a reality. Thats to say, if all those whacko American Christians who declare the EU to be the foretold empire of evil arising in Rome ( with the treaty of, signed by the Nine Heads, of state ) , the Whore of Babylon ( of many tongues ) where every person will have a number ( no doubt, in EU databases, exeptinng ilegal immigrants ) ...may all be true?

Just watching it on the news was after all worse ( and more far fetched ) than the plot-line of any hollywood horror movie based on The Book.

Here we have this...creature... placed in a position to determine international conduct by the largest power-bloc on Earth. Unknown, elected by noone. And with a history of batting for The Devils Own ( in Biblical terms,personally I make no judgement about Gays or single mothers ). This former CNS apparachik will be responsible for EU policy on Irans nuclear weapons. The worrying thing about which being that CND mind-set always maintained that Soviet weapons were good, only our weapons bad.

Not only that, but even though in my real life ( as opposed to Dixons Diatribes ) I have written much about the error in our culture of thinking appearances can reflect moral character, the fact is that she LOOKS heinously evil. Especially in THAT photo above. She also exhibits curious reptilian body movements and speech patterns.

As I say, this whole development has...and I emphasise, I mean this no irony intended...shaken my faith in a scientific world-view!

Verity

Is she Margaret Beckett's ugly sister?

Joe Strummer

Verity-

She could indeed well be Beckett's even uglier sister, which is an achievement in itself.

Natalie

She looks like how reading of her appointment feels.

A J Scott

It's not fair to judge someone by their appearance, but people simply should not get into lines of work where their photographs will appear in the media.
That is quite apart from the lack of merit,qualification,or performance evinced in this case.

Michael Smith

And there's me thinking you were also CND, Rod, in your glorious Socialist Workers's Party days?

teledu

So the lass has no great intellectual talent then?
Maybe she's got as high as she has 'cos she's got "something" on son-of-the-manse Brown.

Verity

If she's not the daughter of a duke or something, she cannot be "Lady Catherine". She is Lady Kellner.

But she does have a face that encapsulates the grinding ugliness combined with sly malice of the entire EU edifice.

At the same time, to be fair, though, she does look a little like Christopher Lee's Dracula, but without the easy charm.

Jez

@ Nick Cohen.

She's married?

How?.... or what to?

Baron Pipin II

an undemocratic institution has acted in an undemocratic manner – shock and horror around. You just get it out of your chest then, call her what you will, not forgetting her inborn physical traits, maul Lady Ashton and smash her to pieces. Feeling better, now? Not unlike the outreaching Jeannie from Devon, she too must be the one unattractive bump that needs sorting, and then voila, a new era of democracy, liberty, and common sense will descend on this green, rain sodden land. Right?

Dixon, you of the lapsed Gnostic phylum, any guidance from the Good Book on what else one can do?

porkbelly

I shouldn't be surprised to learn she is a practicing Wiccan and de Rompuy is her familiar. So be careful what you say, Rod...

daniel maris

You trying to get yourself arrested Rod? Stonewall will be down the local nick as quick as you can say Pink Bottoms-on to lodge a formal complaint about being called "unspeakably ghastly" - a hate crime indeed. Of course, I can see your defence will be that it is not all homosexuals who are unspeakably ghastly, just the ones in Stonewall. However, that will avail you nought when the PC Police get to work on you with their tasers.

When I first heard of this appointment, I thought well she must have some
connections...then it emerged she is married to Peter Kellner.

Why doesn't he declare an interest when he delivers what he presents as an objective assessment of the Government's performance as measured by the polls? I mean - how easy would it be for him to say while his wife is listening: "This government has had it, is knackered, fit only for a mercy killing and swift burial. The public think its members are a lacklustre lot who have no redeeming qualities." I mean, he'd get an ear bashing when he got home wouldn't he?

anne allan

Perhaps she has a beautiful soul?
Is good in bed?
Has no power of independent thought?
Has lot of dirt on NuLab?

gareth

It's funny though Rod - she's fairly representative of the socialist left - and you have been on the same side, fighting for the same ideals for your best years.
Now when you've had it your way for well over a decade and the battle is well and truly lost..........Rod jumps ship and joins the resistance. What irony.

Maggie

Her friend Sami Chakrabarti rates her very highly.

Austin Barry

She is singularly ill-favoured and no doubt the award from the Stonewall gays was for helping recruitment.

David Ossitt

I have long held the opinion; that those of us on the right in politics, are as a group, far more attractive physically, than those of a more socialist bent.

One can see confirming proof of my theory all around; just look at a any panel on Question Time, or the conservative front bench as compared to that of the socialist’s front bench.

Participants on News Night or any of the other political programs bear out my contention we on the right are a much more handsome bunch than the socialists.

I think; that I know why this is, I believe that outward appearances have much to do with the inner man or woman, those who constantly want to interfere in the lives of others, who seek to control and bring everyone under their socialist umbrella, show this in their body language and in the unpleasant set of their features.

Lady Catherine Ashton and Peter Kellner her husband, are prime examples of my theory.

Summer

What is even more astounding, is the creature actually thinks she is 'right for the job'!

Although, considering the 'orc' like perversion of the EU - she probably is!!

The Isle of Sheppey Caravan Club

Nick Cohen

With respect, I think you will find that she is in fact married to Reg Varney and is more usually to be found wearing a loose fitted cardie, knitting clothes for the world's least demanding baby.

rod seacole liddle

Was never a member of CND, and I was 16 years old when I was in the SWP.

Nick - yes, I missed that out, mate. And one of those Yougov Shakespeare's for pope.

M. Rowley

The good Baroness's CV, which demonstrates perfectly that she has never had a proper job in her entire life, makes her eminently qualified for this post.

Augustus

You couldn't have a more schizophrenic institution than the EU. On the one hand Eurocrats are desperate to transform the continent into a full-blown supranational state,
which they then want to control from positions which are internally appointed rather than democratically elected. And on the other hand, the major leaders of EU countries see the setup as a means to further their own private interests, and therefore insist on the mediocrity of high-level officials. The only real basis for political unity in Europe is not some idealistic shared sense of national identities, it is quite simply bureaucratic control.

Herbert Thornton

Until now, I'd believed that nothing favourable could be said about wearing a burka. Now I begin to wonder.

Ridcully

David Ossitt: Wasn't it PJ O'Rourke who once said that women on the left tended to be uglier than those on the Right because, as they get older, all their rancor and bitterness comes out in their faces?

Terry Harvey

At least it shows that Brown is not taking the EU seriously - it's a classic "Up yours" gesture

Verity

Ridcully - Probably.

P J O'Rourke is the Oscar Wilde des nos jours.

M Rowley - It is fascinating that one can not only have an entire career made up of pretend jobs, but that the peak of the pretend jobs, VP of the EUSSR or whatever her title is, rests entirely on all the imaginary jobs she's spent her life "doing" ... if there was anything to do.

I mean, seriously, how did she fill the previous 30 or 35 years? What did she do in the office for all those years? Meaning ... she parked in her privileged place next to the carpark lift, pressed the button for her floor, walked down the corridor, opened the door to whatever the hell organisation she was "working" for, said "Good morning" to the receptionist, who also wasn't sure what her job was, went to her corner office, put her handbag and briefcase on the credenza behind her chair, and then did ......... what? For ..... for all those years?

Dixon

Baron Pipin: "Dixon, you of the lapsed Gnostic phylum, any guidance from the Good Book on what else one can do?"

If we were in the US, take to the hills and arm to the teeth. As its Britain, I guess were stuffed.

Ruby Duck

Oh come on, she's not that bad looking. Some of us on the right can do ugly too.

Shame about the cv.

Seacole

The charisma-by-pass Upholland-Rumpy-Pumpy chimera is the hubristically voter-contemptuous act that will eventually bring the EU crashing down amongst its architects.

And there will be no sympathy for these evil totalitarian goons when it does.

Peter from Maidstone

Good questions, Verity. But are the media asking them? If not, then why not?

Rhoda Klapp

David Ossitt, I can't let you get away without comment when you conflate those on the right with the tory front bench.

Nicholas

Verity, judging from my own experience the jobs involved lots of talking (especially talking down to others), lots of preaching, lots of hectoring and bullying, lots of conspiring and secret planning with other non-job VIPs.

Apparently she has a reputation for high turnover of the staff working for her. I believe peoples faces say a lot about them.

A. MacAulay

If the House of Lords had been reformed into being an honest, elected Senate even with life appointees as in Italy, then a person of this calibre would never, could never have risen beyond her first quangoesque pseudo-job.

biggestaspidistra

"the charisma of a caravan site on the Isle of Sheppey"

Worth the price of admission right there Rod. As for the visage, it's the eyes that are so troubling. We all begin to sag a little past half-time but those eyes, not unlike Blair's. Shiver inducing.

Verity

Nicholas, you’re right. Jobs with lots of talking, lots of meetings, serious discussions … about WHAT, for God’s sake? What did they fill all those years talking about in that series of non-jobs? After the meeting, they would have dictated notes on the meeting and circulated them to the other people who had been at the meeting. Then they would have annotated one another’s notes (“Good point, JCP! Maybe get DL to follow through?”)

She has the chic of Jo Brand, the easy charm of Gorbals Mick and the lilting, Cowardesque wit of Gordon Brown.

Baron Pipin II

Dixon @ 1.50

How right you are, if the English were to have a revolution, it would be only in gardening. I guess that what really pains the many who maul her is either the subconscious guilt of association that their own hand (at the ballot box) has helped to nourish a system that hatches such grossly overpaid, and totally useless apparatchiks. Or the feeling of dark impotence and burning frustration of being able to do bugger all about it. Still, in parts it’s wittier than the equivalent Daily Mail blog.

Worried of Woking

Good work Rod, a cross between Jacqui Smith without the whelk stall and Margaret Becket without the boat race.

Dixon

"Seacole
November 22nd, 2009 7:46am
The charisma-by-pass Upholland-Rumpy-Pumpy chimera is the hubristically voter-contemptuous act that will eventually bring the EU crashing down amongst its architects."

Wanna bet? Dont keep your fingers crossed.

Our best hope is that the EU expansion has or does take in ( Ive lost track of which countries are or are not among its 27 members )some Balkan type places that have a short fuse and tinder-box populace who will simply reach for the gun when it gets too much.

Maybe that will wake people.

I doubt it.The general population of the EU will let their slave-owners get away with anything as long as times are good. Even amidst whines of "recession" ( this years excessively over-used excuse for business clients to reneg on contracts, in my experience ) times really are still good. Count the Ferraris. Count the beggars. Which are there more of? Round my way its the former. But this may soon change. We are at present in a kind of "phoney recession" before the REAL recession kicks in.

If we get five million unemployed, then theres a chance that attitudes to the EU ( easily accountable as a moajor factor in unemployment ) may harden.

However, maybe by then our Honorouble Lizard Lady will have taken the EU to war agains Israel, or even the USA!

Carl

I bet the celebration party was a laugh a minute.

In2minds

Maggie @ 7.25pm - “Her friend Shami Chakrabarti rates her very highly”.

So they say, but I wonder what this means? For as much as Baroness Wossername is 'A charisma free zone' little moon-eyes is seldom off the radar being a BBC favourite. Then there is lovely Reeta Chakrabarti a BBC employee, could this be big sis?

Not that it matters, of course.

Peter from Maidstone

Why is Chakrabarti always on the media when Liberty only has a membership of 7000? There is something fishy going on there. Plenty of organisations with an opinion have many more members but she is almost guaranteed a place on any programme.

Nicholas

Verity: " . . . lots of talking, lots of meetings, serious discussions … about WHAT, for God’s sake?"

A look through the Guardian's public sector job adverts provides a flavour of the likely content of these earnest meetings and discussions. I would sum them up, politely, with the two words "pretentious" and "waffle".

The majority of us are imposed upon daily by the legislative, regulatory and coercive consequences of the largely imaginary concerns of a vociferous and politically astute minority towards the alleged victimisation of other vociferous and politically astute minorities (q.v. Harriet Harmon et al).

As long as the image for society contrived by these people is based wholly on the perceived needs of minorities rather than the actual needs of the majority no good will come of it. But we all here understand that.

Dixon

"Peter from Maidstone
November 22nd, 2009 4:53pm
Why is Chakrabarti always on the media when Liberty only has a membership of 7000? There is something fishy going on there. Plenty of organisations with an opinion have many more members but she is almost guaranteed a place on any programme."

More to the point, why out of 7000 members do we only ever get to see one?

Verity

Nicholas - Bravo!

Seacole

Dunno about celebration parties, but Rumpy Pumpy's leaving do was probably a laugh or wheeze a minute as his soon-to-be former colleagues read out haikus to the poetry-loving, soon-to-be Emperor and President of Europe.

Hai-kooing as Europe slides into somnolence?

A. MacAulay

With a second try, how does one address the, "High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy" ? Your Highness?

ed hall

@A. MacAulay

"With a second try, how does one address the, "High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy" ? Your Highness?"

I believe Comrade is appropriate.

In2minds

The Baroness Wossername and Saint Chakrabarti Mutual Admiration and Endorsement Pact fascinates me. The MSM has accepted that the latter bigs up the former and that's all that Wossername needs. It's as if no other opinion is required.

Saint Chak is well on the way to being a latter day Seacole. However, from now on the EU and the likes of Wossername will have an immense impact on liberty in the UK and the loss thereof.

So will they, Wossername and Saint Chak, still be exchanging fond words and if so why?

kiwi

Beauty is only skin deep . . . ugliness goes through to the bone.

— my Irish grandma

Sterence

Has, at any time since Labour were elected in 1997, a Conservative been appointed to a significant post in an international institution? Major appointed Kinnock as a commissioner, but there has been no reciprocity whatsoever in 12 years of Labour - in line with their appointment of a Labour stooge as Speaker of the House of Commons.

MC@Clayhanger

Dear Rod

Enjoyed the article, spot on as usual with the general thrust however I do find your comparing Baroness Non-Entity to an Isle of Sheppey Caravan Park a bit too wide of the mark. There is nothing wrong with the Isle of Sheppey; like all good english resorts they have a certain character all of their own which is more than can be said of Baroness Ashton.Yes I am being sarcastic!!!

EyeSee

I too believe that you cannot judge a book by it's cover, though in her case it seems the two are well matched. As Kirk nearly said 'set faces on stun'. (As opposed to stunning!)

Pete

Shock Horror
Wilhelm
November 21st, 2009 3:16pm

She's got a face like a bag of spanners.

Much more PC to say.Now thats a face for radio!

sebastian

I think she's found out the glass slipper doesn't fit.

IT's a Liberty

Peter from Maidstone has hit the nail on the head and so I propose we set up an organisation called 'It's a Liberty' in which we will fight for the Liberty of the people from the tyranny of the EU.

Our President will be Verity (If she will accept this unique honour).
Committee members will be voted for by all the membership. As I am the only member that makes the formation of a committee true to the traditions of the EU!

I will pray upon the good, cheap?, services of our host Mr Liddle to be our Spokesman to that he can appear next to the Blessed, Saint Sami Chakrabarti, friend of The EU's High Executioner and that paragon of political skill and honesty, David Davis.

Mr Liddle will be able to expose, on our behalf, the loss of Liberty we will suffer in the EU.

Dixon makes a very interesting point and that will make it fairly easy for Mr Liddle to recruit all Christians to our cause.

'IT's A LIBERTY'!

a strapworld initiative.

Vik

The problem is that she does not have the "second most important job in Europe". Her post is just as useless as the "President of the EU" and basically will make her a well-paid figure-head of Europe. For this part, they could have found someone less disgusting to those of us blessed with sight.