Cover Story

Twisk

What Miss Mc Laren says about englishmen is sad, but unfortunately true.

Now, english male ineptitude may very well be down to the "corporal punishment", that brutal treatment of boys (girls must have it softer, since women won't be as violent in caning than their male counterparts).

Caning is supposed to "only hurt the pride". Trouble is, it hurts it so deeply that men are left "off-center" and lose their self-esteem so much they have to get back at somebody - each other, for one. And women, of course.

That's when they achieve connecting with women at all...

Since, to my knowledge, corporal punishment has been dropped in the UK, for State schools, since 1986 (but only in 1999 for all schools) can the answer to the general english male inadequacy still be imputable to these aberrant punishments?

As for the etonians and upper-middle class men Leah McLaren speaks of, that would be a yes.
As for the general poulation, there is probably still an aftermath, even for those who have escaped it - insecurity can be highly contagious... if self-conscious, maladjusted parents have consistently put their children to shame about everything and told them how worthless they are, what then?

I add that not all the englishmen are such afflicted; I met some lovely guys in London.
They can be definitely worse out in the provinces - that's where I saw some truly sad cases (amongst the upper middle class as well as amongst your usual pub patrons).

Male brits also are self-deriding to the point of exhibiting traits of self-defeating personality disorders. They can be socially shy, tend to hate themselves and "feel low and clumsy". That's the explanation for their compensatory "irony" and adolescent "laddism".

From boyhood, men put each other to shame under the guise of "irony". Then, in turns, they are insecure, at a loss with women.
They are often perplexingly shy and can, when romantically involved, turn to boorishness and put their girlfriends and wives down.

Thank you, queen Victoria...

Hopefully, the next generation of brits (who won't have been abused at school) will extricate themselves from those underlying feelings of inadequacy.

For the ones who have unfortunately "had it" or have been undermined by afflicted parents (lots have goes at their own children), there are ways to get rid of the bad taste other than putting women and each other down.

It is a matter of self-awareness and how much effort you are prepared to put in regaining a sense of dignity.

I add I am with a male brit who is well aware of this issue.
To conclude, "English men are widely reputed to be the worst lovers on the planet" is an absolute slander, and untrue to boot.

Lynn

I want to thank you. I am an American woman who spent two years with an Englishman who was visiting here for a job. I thought the lonliness within the relationship was all my fault. However, I can see it was at least partly a consequence of this nonsensical, no---outright crazy approach to romance that my Englishman had. I experienced it all too well (and too long!).

Wendigo

English gentlemen not all that interested in high maintenance, gold-digging North American media floozies.

Stop the Presses!