They often come to mind, those ashen-faced, hollow-eyed women, summoning up every last jot of strength and courage to stand tall at the funeral. Of course it is not only women – there are bereaved fathers and brothers too, and occasionally, when it is a woman serving in the forces who has been killed, husbands. But for some reason it is the image of the women who stay with us. Rather as the tomb of one unknown soldier in Westminster Abbey symbolises many thousands of dead, so the image of two women sums up for me all those other wives and mothers. The photograph, as always, did not need words. There was the new widow of Lieutenant-Colonel Rupert Thorneloe, wearing a dramatic black hat and looking so beautiful, so broken, so determined to stand tall, and his mother, also handsome in her black, grasping her daughter-in-law’s hand in solidarity, love and support. There was no wailing, no breaking-down, the tears were scarcely visible – this is an army family, schooled in presenting a brave front. But the anguish was all too clear as the coffin of the tall, handsome, much-admired officer was borne past them in The Guard’s Chapel.
We have seen plenty of footage of the high street of Wootton Bassett, the village which has taken on itself the dreadful task of representing the rest of us, by paying respects as the bodies of too many soldiers are driven through. (I am always shocked that those hearses are not preceded by a military guard. It is quite incongruous to see the near-pantomime figure of the civilian undertaker in top hat and strutting his cane, heading the procession. Why? There must be some good reason but it does not look right.)
That apart, there is never a false note, as there is none at RAF Lyneham into which the coffins are flown. The military do these things perfectly.
But it is Mrs Thorneloe whose face and bearing haunt me and for whom, in spite of the presence of her two young children, has to bear not only the weary, empty years ahead without a much-beloved husband, but who has to get through this Christmas. Last year her husband was on leave and enjoying the celebrations with his family. Shortly afterwards he flew to Afghanistan for the last time. Deaths are always felt most keenly at Christmas, absences are empty spaces in the heart. Those husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, are irreplaceable.
But somehow, this is made all the worse, as were the deaths in Iraq, by a question. I am old enough to remember deaths in the Second World War, a war in a just cause, a war in which one could truthfully say that British servicemen gave their lives for the defence of the country and so that we might live freely.
But where is the just cause in Afghanistan? Why are we there? Where is the just cause for which those brave women face such a bleak and lonely future?
I wish someone could explain to me.
Remember - in your prayers if you say them – the bereaved who will struggle, courageously but in great pain, through the Christmas days to come.
Blogs: Alex Massie | Martin Bright | Rod Liddle | Melanie Phillips | Coffee House | Faith Based
Actions: Print this article | Email to a friend | Permalink | Comments (12)
Post this entry to: del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit
Advertisement
1 Yes campaign launch will cause problems — for the independence movement - Ysenda Maxtone Graham
2 Obama vs Balls - edited by Graham Storey, Margaret Brown and Kathle
3 Cameron's attack on Balls is strangely endearing - Lloyd Evans
4 Susie Squire to take over as Tory press chief - James Forsyth
5 What Farage's offer means for David Cameron - James Forsyth
1,700 Unusual Christmas Presents Request Catalogue 01935 815 195 Quote SPEC10 for 10% discount www.presentfinder.co.uk
Pimilco based Florist with online ordering Web: www.olivebranch.net Tel: 020 7630 1868 Fax: 020 7233 8844
62 Shore Road, Warsash, Southampton, SO31 9FT Telephone: 01489 578867 Web site: www.ruffs.co.uk
Apollo Magazine | Corporate | Advertising | Privacy | Terms
Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London, SW1H 9HP
All Articles and Content Copyright ©2012 by The Spectator | All Rights Reserved
jon dee
December 18th, 2009 4:28pm Report this commentA sad and beautifully written piece which I feel sure mirrors the thoughts of many of us, whose only meeting with the Thorneloes was through the dignified stoicism of their televised image. A brave family indeed.
The drama of Wootton Bassett and it's kindly cast, deserves not only our thanks, but the highest possible recognition for the respect they show to the fallen. At a time when honours are dispersed like confetti, often for vain and dubious reasons, their form of service is obvious to all, and meaningful.
Perhaps when politicians realise that their war rhetoric is disbelieved widely by the electorate, they'll pack-up their posturing and see that Afghanistan follows Iraq along a misguided trail.
Beer Moth
December 18th, 2009 5:23pm Report this commentAgree with almost all of this.
Unfortunately we have no choice about this war, and there is lots more to come. And when the European phase of that same war is opened, our wonder will be only that we didn't pursue our enemy more vigorously.
wrinkled weasel
December 18th, 2009 5:49pm Report this commentIt's a part of life that words barely do justice, but you did so, and thank you.
Austin Barry
December 19th, 2009 7:34pm Report this comment"They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for ones country. But in modern war there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason."
Ernest Hemingway - Notes on the Next War
Augustus
December 19th, 2009 8:51pm Report this comment"To die one's self is a thing that must be easy and light of consequence. But to lose a part of one's self - well, we know how deep that pang goes, we who have suffered that disaster, received that wound that cannot heal."
David Preiser
December 20th, 2009 10:37pm Report this commentBritish troops have given their lives in Afghanistan in part because 30 people from my street were murdered on Sept. 11, 2001 by the people trying to regain control of that country. I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you, but my neighbors would beg to differ.
Anthony Lenaghan
December 21st, 2009 12:22am Report this commentA wonderful, moving piece. Thank you for reminding us that the stiff upper lip has not vanished beneath the sea of hysterical modern comment.
SUSAN HILL
December 21st, 2009 3:25pm Report this commentDavid Preiser. I hear what you are saying but were those who murdered your neighbours confirmed as coming from Afghanistan ? The number of our military lost in that country far outnumbers those civilians and we seem no further forward, that is all. I am no pacifist and if I was confident the people our soldiers were fighting were those who had caused 9/11 it would be different - I am not and I wonder who is ?
Cuffleyburgers
December 21st, 2009 5:17pm Report this commentMoving and beautifully written, this corner of the speccie at least will be forever England
oliver
December 21st, 2009 5:21pm Report this commentYes, Susan Hill. The 9/11 gang came mostly from Saudi Arabia, of course. Which is why I find the notion, parroted meaninglessly by Gordon Brown, that the Afghanistan campaign is somehow saving us from terrorism on our streets, to be awkward and tendentious. You get the feeling that he doesn't believe it, even as he says it.
Unfortunately, the question as to where the threat truly emanates is difficult to discuss, given that it is so awful and intractable. Yes, it is as likely to come from High Wycombe as from Helmland, from Luton rather than Kandahar - a road to hell that has been paved by the (one supposes) good intentions of the Labour government.
David Preiser
December 23rd, 2009 12:28am Report this commentSusan Hill,
I see that I was careless with my words. Yes, it's true that nearly all the actual hijackers on 9/11 were from Saudi Arabia and Egypt. They were merely the foot soldiers of jihad directed by, paid for, and trained by Al Qaeda, who were at the time based in Afghanistan and supported by the Taliban. All the mass murderers involved were trained in Afghanistan, under the protection of the Taliban.
The Taliban were asked to hand them over back then, but refused, and the US and UK invaded Afghanistan to remove Al Qaeda, especially the leaders. The Taliban protected them, and continue to do so under the aegis of defending their country. Which, you may recall, they ruled via a not exactly democratic takeover. It's also important to remember that originally they were basically one and the same, having fought together as one against the Soviets years before. It's easy to forget that these days.
As far as I can tell, your position is that the Taliban were and are not connected in any way to Al Qaeda, and allowing them to control much or all of Afghanistan will not lead to the restoration of an Al Qaeda's stronghold in Afghanistan. There is no logical reason for you to assume this, and history shows otherwise, as do current events in Pakistan. Nor is there any logical reason to assume that if there was no invasion back then that Al Qaeda would not have continued business as usual, encouraged by their success. But I respect your right to have that opinion, even as I would hope to change it.
However, it is also possible that you do not believe that Al Qaeda was responsible for 9/11. If that's the case, you must disagree with the invasion of Afghanistan, full stop, never mind the current military action there. This also begs the question of whom you do hold responsible for 9/11.
One hopes that you don't deny the existence of video - broadcast by the BBC, among other non-Fox News outlets - of Osama Bin Laden and his cohorts claiming responsibility for it, or the existence of the communications and personal belongings of the hijackers themselves which contain their own confessions and instructions to one another.
I can only ask: whom do you think we are fighting, and why do you think there is no connection to 9/11?
SUSAN HILL
December 24th, 2009 11:36pm Report this commentI don`t honestly know enough about the whole Taliban/Al Qaeda/Bin Laden scenario - I don`t think I said there was no connection to 9/11 - if I implied that, it was my mistake. I just wonder why we are there fighting a war of attrition which, in terrain like that, we can probably never win. If the Soviets were defeated by it, I can`t see that we will succeed. But I bow to your much better knowledge of the whole situation.
Back to top