Food

The Grill at The Dorchester - night time panels detail HIGH RES

Is the Dorchester the designated grand hotel for fat people? The portions at its new grill say so

7 March 2015

The Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, is a cake floating in space. All grand hotels create a parallel universe in which their guests are returned to some great gilded and unnatural… Read more

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Rowleys is Did Mummy Love Me Really? food – and it’s perfect

21 February 2015

I think Rowley’s is the perfect restaurant; but I am really a gay man. Rowley’s is at 113 Jermyn Street (the Tesco end). It was made in homage to the… Read more

Alain Ducasse Photo: Getty

Rivea: a London annexe to the world’s maddest expensive restaurant

7 February 2015

Rivea (stupid name) is in the bowels of Bulgari in Knightsbridge, a hotel which looks like a vast Virgin Upper Class lounge. It sits opposite One Hyde Park (stupid name),… Read more

Meals on wheels Photo: Getty

I want to do for field rations what Jamie Oliver did for school dinners

17 January 2015

Hell’s Kitchen My ambition to open a fish and chip shop in Mogadishu has not happened yet, though I remain optimistic. Food, I’ve decided, is the thing to go for… Read more

Cereal Killer Cafe, Brick Lane Photo: Dominic Lipinski/PA Images

The real reason there’s a queue outside the Cereal Killer Café

10 January 2015

The Cereal Killer Café is a temple to cereal on Brick Lane, east London. It serves only cereal — and also Pop-Tarts, which taste like pavements smeared with chocolate — and… Read more

Masterchef: The Professionals: Marcus Wareing, Gregg Wallace, Monica Galetti Photo: BBC

How to win MasterChef - and why salmon is the fish of the devil

13 December 2014

If ever my near-neighbour William Sitwell is killed in a bizarre shooting accident and I end up taking his place as one of the guest critics on MasterChef: the Professionals… Read more

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The most preposterous restaurant to have opened in London this year

13 December 2014

Somerset House, a handsome Georgian palace on the Thames, was once the office of the Inland Revenue, and the courtyard was a car park, but that particular hell is over. Instead… Read more

The Old Coastguard

The hotels trying to turn Cornwall into Kensington

29 November 2014

Mousehole is a charming name; it is almost a charming place. It is a fishing village on Mount’s Bay, Cornwall, beyond the railway line, which stops at Penzance, in an… Read more

Mummy Exhibition Opens At The Art Science Museum

A buffet in an Egyptian tomb

15 November 2014

Atlantico is a vast buffet inside the Lopesan Costa Meloneras Resort Spa and Casino in Gran Canaria. The Lopesan Costa Melonoras Resort Spa and Casino — or, as I will… Read more

11/00/2001. Film "Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone"

Barry Humphries

8 November 2014

Do fish have loins? Last Tuesday, in a pretentious restaurant, I ordered a ‘loin of sea trout’. It looked just like an ordinary piece of fish — a bit small,… Read more

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Want to shake hands with your dinner? Beast is your kind of restaurant

1 November 2014

Beast is next to Debenhams on Oxford Street and it is not conventionally beast-like; rather it is monetised and bespoke beastliness, which is not really beastliness at all. It is… Read more

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Prue Leith

18 October 2014

‘Please God, make me good, but not yet.’ I know the feeling. As I get older and more deeply retired, I globe-trot more and my carbon footprint is horrendous. And… Read more

Gymkhana

Gymkhana is morally disgusting – and fortunately the food’s disgusting too

18 October 2014

Gymkhana is a fashionable Indian restaurant in Albemarle Street. It was, according to its natty website, ‘inspired by Colonial Indian gymkhana clubs, set up by the British Raj, where members… Read more

(Photo:  Frazer Harrison/Getty)

Today’s Disney princesses look like Russian mafia wives. This is their café

4 October 2014

The Disney Café is a gaudy hell on the fourth floor of Harrods, Knightsbridge. It is adjacent to the Harrods Disney Store, and also the Harrods Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, in… Read more

rextail

Rextail: a restaurant for billionaire children

20 September 2014

Rextail is a restaurant for billionaire children, such as Richie Rich. Its owner, Arcady Novikov, has already opened a restaurant for billionaire men and their spindly billionaire wives — the… Read more

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Fischer’s is like visiting Vienna without having to go to Austria (thank God)

6 September 2014

Fischer’s is Austria made safe for liberals, gays, Jews and other Untermenschen riffraff, because it is a restaurant, not a concentration camp, and because it is in Marylebone High Street,… Read more

A bitter struggle with the dictionary

30 August 2014

‘Don’t mind if I do,’ is one of husband’s stock phrases — jokes he would think them — in this case trotted out if anyone says, of the weather, ‘Bitter’.… Read more

Rhubarb has the loveliest, craziest dining room I have ever seen

23 August 2014

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival: the city is full of glassy-eyed narcissists eating haggis pizza off flyers that say Michael Gove: Prick. I saw the Grim Reaper in the Pleasance Courtyard,… Read more

Scenes In And Around London's Soho

L’Escargot is Soho as Soho sees itself

9 August 2014

L’Escargot, or the Snail, is a famous restaurant on Greek Street, Soho, opposite the old Establishment club; the oldest French restaurant in London, they say (1927), and who am I… Read more

How can I train my brother to not eat like a pig?

26 July 2014

Q. I live far away from my brother and his family, but went to stay with them recently for the first time in many years. Having supper was like eating… Read more

Lake Lucerne Photo: Davide Seddo/Getty

The nervous passenger who became one of our great travel writers

12 July 2014
Pleasures and Landscapes Sybille Bedford

Daunt Books, pp.176, £9.99, ISBN: 9781907970405

Sybille Bedford all her life was a keen and courageous traveller. Restless, curious, intellectually alert, she was always ready to explore new territories, her experiences recounted in a sophisticated style… Read more

summer-eating

Rose Prince’s summer wine match menu

28 June 2014

It may seem like stating the obvious, but to me the best wines are food wines, meaning those that should never be far away from a plate of something they… Read more

At the Chiltern Firehouse, smugness should be on the menu

28 June 2014

Here then is Gatsby’s house, after an invasion by the Daily Mail. It is called the Chiltern Firehouse. It is a restaurant in a newly opened hotel in a Victorian… Read more

General Views Of Venice As Hayek Pinault Second Wedding Plans Develop

Harry’s Bar, where a slice of cake costs €32 – and is worth it

31 May 2014

Harry’s Bar is a dull pale box. This is remarkable in Venice, which is a hospice for dying palaces, held up aching over the world’s most charismatic puddle; Harry’s is… Read more

Barclays Bank Cuts 14,000 Jobs

Are we killing investment banking? And if we are, should we care?

17 May 2014

Do we really mean to kill investment banking, or are we trampling it by accident in a fit of righteous zeal? By ‘we’ I mean politicians, regulators and public opinion,… Read more