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Wednesday 9 July 2008

Doctor’s dilemma

Dr Who (BBC1)

In those distant days when I used to hang out on Facebook one of my favourite user groups was ‘I hate Catherine Tate and she shouldn’t be in the new series of Doctor Who.’ I don’t remember many of the members’ exchanges being particularly witty or illuminating, but then they didn’t need to be. The group’s name said it all, really.

And now she’s arrived just how bad and annoying is she? Well, the good news is: not as bad and annoying as you might have feared. But, given how bad and annoying you feared she would be, I’m not sure that’s going to provide total consolation. I’ll give you an example from episode three of the new series, just a tiny one, but I can tell it’s the sort of itchy flea-bite we’re going to have to put up with from now on. We’re on an alien planet and something clearly sinister is about to kick off with these worm-faced uglies called the Ood, but before that happens there must be the statutory incidences of zappy comic dialogue. A woman makes the mistake of calling Tate’s character Donna ‘miss’ and instantly Tate goes into comical mugging mode. ‘Oi, who do you fink you’re calling miss?’ Donna says (or something similar). ‘What makes you fink I’m not married?’

This all started, you may remember, a couple of years ago in the worst-ever Christmas episode, which began with Donna’s nuptials being ruined by aliens. So the back story is, Donna has been unable to find a suitable man since because she has now set her cap at the mysterious stranger who came into her life on that bizarre wedding day — i.e., Doctor Who.

Now I don’t know about you but I personally have major problems with the idea of the Doctor having a romantic inner life. He’s a Time Lord and ought to be above all that. And if he did care about such things then surely with an infinite number of galaxies and an infinite number of time periods to choose from he would have managed to pick himself up a bit of stuff a touch more appealing than gobby, chippy Donna and her voluminous reddish hair.

More articles from: James Delingpole | this section

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