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Faking it

James Delingpole

Wednesday, 14th May 2008

Artful Codgers (Channel 4); My Israel (BBC4)

And the tabloid papers at that. One detail that the programme seemed to find quite ticklingly hilarious was that Shaun had forged these masterworks using tools bought at B&Q. But where exactly would it have expected him to buy his tools? Petherington and Fothergill, Rare, Delicate, Expensive and Posh Toolmakers, by Appointment to The Queen? Ye Olde and Authenticke Art Forger’s Emporium?

While dwelling at length on the Ealing comedy aspects of the story — cue scenes of ordinary Northern folk chuckling over a pint about how one of their own pulled a con trick on them poncy southerners, ee ba gum — it seemed determined to skirt anything that smacked of insight or complexity.

We learnt, for example, that the Greenhalghs had finally been rumbled when an expert noticed that Shaun had got the reins on the horses wrong on an ancient Assyrian tablet. But how exactly had he got them wrong? The programme wouldn’t tell us, as if terrified that the moment the voice-over got into tricky territory like the nuances of 10th-century BC bridle design, the viewers would suddenly go, ‘Well, I’m not watching this poncy intellectual stuff any more. It’s going right over my head.’

Mind you, My Israel (BBC4, Wednesday) had me pretty flummoxed. It was another autobiographical documentary by Yulie Cohen — apparently she has already made three before — provoked by an experience in 1973 when as an El Al stewardess she was nearly killed by a lone Arab terrorist, whom subsequently she has sought to forgive, comprehend and befriend. She now goes on platforms arguing that Israelis are just as culpable as Palestinians, and that empathy and reconciliation are the only way forward if there is ever to be peace in the Holy Land.

Well, quite. You can see why the BBC gives her so much airspace, and she’s undoubtedly a strong, brave, intelligent and very attractive woman. But it seemed to me that there’s a fairly basic truth she fails to grasp when, for example, she urges Israeli mums not to let their children join the armed forces. If they did as she suggests, the state of Israel would be wiped off the map.

My wife liked the programme much more than I did, explaining that this is how women think, and if only we all thought like that instead of in the aggressive, black-and-white way men do the world would be a better place. Apart from one week in every month, presumably.