Criminal Justice (BBC1); Celebrity Masterchef (BBC1); Marco's Great British Feast (Channel 4)
CMC didn’t work because in the hypnotic original version of the show, the contestants were desperate to succeed. They yearned to become real chefs, and that gave the programme its obsessive fascination. This lot have day jobs already. If they produce lousy food, who cares? Not them, and not us.
Marco’s Great British Feast (Channel 4, Wednesday) was a foodie show that was desperate to be different. Marco made a point of personally killing much of the food. Or at least slicing it up. His wild eyes and a huge knife, used on a (admittedly already dead) pig, made him resemble Sweeney Todd, the demon barber. Gosh, he was sinister. His assistants are sinister. He has a Japanese driver, Mr Ishi, who says very little, but in a sinister way. Their longest conversation: Marco: ‘Do you have donkeys in Japan?’ Mr Ishi: ‘Yes, we have donkeys.’ Random, as kids say these days.
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