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Starstruck

Unruly children as parents

Cosmo Landesman
Macmillan, 324pp, £14.99,
Geordie Greig
Wednesday, 1st October 2008

Starstruck, by Cosmo Landesman

If as a child you found your parents embarrassing then this hiss-and-tell memoir will make you feel a lot better, as Cosmo Landesman had parents who were off the Richter scale of embarrassment. Jay and Fran were two wacky, middle-aged American egotists who arrived in ‘the land of the stiff upper lip’ and caused mayhem. Blind to their own blush-making toxicity, they were obsessed with being famous.

Life at home was like a bad sitcom, as they canoodled with their respective lovers in front of their children’s schoolfriends and then, like some grotesque TV reality show, shamelessly paraded their open marriage to the media, the ultimate examples of the look-at-me-me-me generation. Poor little Cosmo blushed and cringed most days as they rode roughshod over his childhood. His simple expectations of having parents who might want to put their children first or encourage their offsprings’ dreams rather than sideline them as a tiresome interruption to their all-important pursuit of fame were monstrously derailed.

Starstruck is a funny book in both senses. Landesman essentially skewers his mum and dad with his pen, but even this feeds their egotism. We learn that they revel in their son’s blame-game memoir, seeing it as a new and welcome platform from which to propel their ambitions. So the book is also a commentary on fame, celebrity and success, but not the success of being a loving parent, patient listener, supporter, cocooner or even moral guide. It highlights the emptiness of their interpretation: the pursuit of status.

Cosmo is relentless in making the same point again and again, sometimes like a scream but more often as an amusing riff, railing against a life-long injustice. Perhaps the only crumb of comfort is that his parents deserve each other. Thank goodness their remarkably sane and seemingly undamaged son was born with a sense of humour. If Cosmo couldn’t laugh, this would be a tale beyond tears and redemption. And the wonderful thing is that he clearly loves Jay and Fran; as well as forgiving them, he sort of relishes them. Await the movie: Steve Martin would be the perfect dad.

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mark ramsden

October 2nd, 2008 2:34pm

Fran Landesman is an excellent poet whose lyrics have been sung by Sinatra, Streisand and Ella Fitzgerald among many others. Was this really not worth a mention?
And can anyone who married Julie Burchill be trusted as a judge of character - or indeed anything else?

Chris

October 2nd, 2008 3:27pm

A lyricist (poet, my arse!) may be an excellent lyricist (as Fran Landesman is) and still be a nutjob (as Fran Landesman is).

mark ramsden

October 2nd, 2008 4:55pm

She published several books of poetry. Maybe that makes her a poet.

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