Tuesday 2 December 2008

 

The latest culture as recommended by our staff

Michael Henderson

Michael Henderson suggests


Another Voice

Wednesday, 10th September 2008

First the housing market collapsed. Now I fear the trade in llamas will be next

In these straitened days, when the international money markets teeter nervily between relief and panic, and stock exchanges hang upon the slightest twitch of one of Alistair Darling’s implausible eyebrows, I must be mindful of my position in the camelid world. If I sneeze, the British llama market may catch pneumonia.

Not that I am any sort of a spokesman. Llamas and alpacas have greater authorities than me to pronounce on their welfare and prospects. Wise and expert breeders in Britain constitute a community in which I’m a very minor player — indeed I fear my subscription to the Camelids Chronicle may even have lapsed. But regular references in national newspaper and magazine columns to our (until today) four llamas here in Derbyshire — their lives and loves, their setbacks, hopes and fears — probably add up to a substantial proportion of all published British journalism on these delightful, soft-footed browsers. My writings may have done something to boost market confidence and customer interest in the characterful creature as a viable grass-mower and reliable breeding machine. And in markets of every kind, confidence is the key.

So my next remark is made fearfully. Shut your ears, ye bears of Wall Street, lest I do to the market for cloven-footed biungulates what George Soros did to the pound sterling, and Friday 12 September become a kind of Black Friday in the annals of the camelid trade.

For I think the bottom may be falling out of the llama market. Your share portfolio may have plummeted, your job may be at risk and your house may soon be worth a fraction of what you could have sold it for last year. Now your llamas may be depreciating too.

More articles from: Matthew Parris | this section

Subscribe now

Post this entry to:   del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit

Comments

Post a comment


Your comment:*

Your name:*

Your email address:*
(We won't publish this)

*Required information

Please click the button only once - your comment will not be published immediately

Berry Carter

October 31st, 2008 9:28am

Oh Dear Matthew
Alpaca ownership maybe but llama ownership was never about making money. Llama ownership has nothing to do with stocks and shares and mortgage stress in Wall Street or anywhere else. When people ask me "how do you make money with llamas?" as they have done repeatedly for twenty five years my answer never varies. "You have made your money" I say "and you are seeking something to do with it. The llama is a work of art, a four legged work of art that not only is good to look at but priceless to know.


The Spectator Parliamentarian Awards
Spectator Book Club
The Spectator Billabong

In this section

Shared Opinion

Hugo Rifkind

If there really is a secret Zionist brotherhood running the world, why aren’t I a member?

Global warning

Theodore Dalrymple

Scratch the surface and there is always tragedy, mixed, of course, with wickedness.

And another thing

Paul Johnson

When the leaves fall is the fun time of year for artists

Status Anxiety

Toby Young

Classlessness means your five-year-old chanting ‘sheepshaggers’ on the terraces

The Wiki Man

Rory Sutherland

A fortnightly column on technology and the web

Related articles

Incompetence is fine: but being offensive is sure to get you sacked

Rod Liddle

Rod Liddle says that something has gone wrong when 15 South Lanarkshire social workers are sacked over a dodgy Gary Glitter joke while none of their counterparts in Haringey has even been reprimanded over the ‘Baby P’ case

Don’t confuse conversation with dialogue or quips

Catherine Blyth

Catherine Blyth says that conversation is an art: its essence is the acrobatic business of reading and changing minds — talking with people, not at them

Shared Opinion

Hugo Rifkind

I’m not saying these are bad people. Just that they are fat

Scapegoats, hate figures and superheroes

Lucy Beresford

Psychotherapist and former banker Lucy Beresford says we’re all in denial about our guilt for the debt crisis

Slow Life

Alex James

Conquering hero

Spectator recommends

Free Sky Digital Offer - Order Now

Subscribe to Sky from £16 a month. Get free equipment and free broadband - Join Now. Sky HD - be...


Spectator classifieds

ROME CENTRE

PORTA METRONIA, ROME Standing high on the top of one of the seven hills of Rome- the Coelian- this unique

City Breaks. ROME and PARIS

ROME and PARIS: over 350 holiday rentals apartments listed: visit  www.romanreference.com  and  www.parisreference.com or call +39 0648 903612.

Jewellery. RUFFS (Estd. 1904).

Goldsmiths by Design Welcome to Ruffs!  You have found a company of Goldsmiths that specialises in the manufacture, amongst other