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Shared Opinion

Hugo Rifkind

Wednesday, 17th September 2008

Hats off to Lehman Brothers for predicting it would need so many neat cardboard boxes

OK. I’ll be honest. It’s been a bad fortnight, and I simply don’t understand any of the things you might expect me to be writing about. I don’t understand the fuss about teaching creationism in schools, because I can’t see that it would take very long. (‘God did it. Don’t go to the Galapagos. Class dismissed.’) In fact, I don’t understand anything about creationists at all. I don’t understand why there are suddenly so many of them if nobody even goes to church, and I don’t understand whether Sarah Palin is a creationist, or isn’t one, or how it can be possible for this to be in any way vague. I also don’t understand why the Church of England is apologising to Darwin, even though he is dead. Part of me feels this holds the potential for satire, but part of me feels it already is satire. Either way, I wasn’t prepared to risk it.

Back home, I don’t understand how Gordon Brown can be in such terrible trouble if the only people who are calling for his resignation are people of whom nobody has ever heard, even if they are members of what the Mail On Sunday calls the ‘Lancashire Mafia’, which has apparently been there all along, and has been secretly using every ounce of its wit, ruthlessness and cunning in order to transform Preston into the feared and terrible player on the world stage that it is today. I’ve also been wondering whether the real mafia could trademark the word ‘mafia’ to stop this sort of thing happening in the future, because it can’t be good for their branding. This isn’t something I don’t understand, please note, just something I haven’t looked into yet.

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Jeff Chaplin

September 22nd, 2008 5:57pm

Hugo, nowadays the cardboard box (required in case of restructuring / downsizing / outsourcing) is one of the most common items found in the 'new employee welcome kit'. That's why everyone has one. Simple foresight.

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