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Another Voice

Matthew Parris

Wednesday, 8th October 2008

Sit back and enjoy the world economic crisis in three minutes

Dramatis personae:

Joe Citizen                    (a citizen)
Jack and Jill Jones        (Joe’s neighbours)
Mr Whatam-Ibid            (a surveyor)
Mr Ballpark-Estimate    (a valuer)
Ms Dreamhomes            (an estate agent)
Mr Moneybags                (a small banker)
Mr Dollarsacks                (a global fund manager)
Mr Brown                        (a prime minister)
(voices off)                    (depositors; taxpayers)
Stage props:                 two bricks: one large, one small

The stage is empty against the backdrop of a blue sky and scudding clouds. ENTER: Joe Citizen carrying a small brick, and Jack and Jill Jones carrying a large one...

Joe Citizen (to the Joneses): That’s a nice big brick you own.

The Joneses: It’s for sale. The kids have flown the nest and we’re downsizing. We’d take £10 for our brick. What are you asking for your smaller one?

Joe Citizen (to himself): £10? Pricey for a brick, but I guess mine must be worth more than I realised too. The market’s obviously on the up. (To the Joneses) I’d sell mine for £8.

The Joneses (conferring): Brick prices must be rising faster than we thought. If his is worth £8, ours must be worth more than £10. (To Joe) We’ve raised our asking price to £20.

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Yvonne

October 9th, 2008 3:15pm

No, it can't really be that bad, can it? Will Sheik I'veoilbelow have the last word?

Herbert Thornton

October 12th, 2008 7:04pm

Yvonne -

Yes it can. Sheik I'veoilbelow corners the market in bricks and uses them to build another Mosque which he believes the most of the dramatis personae, including somebody called Rowan bin Williams, will soon obediently attend, though for some strange reason nobody in the congregation seems to be called Griffin.

Familiar Clown

October 12th, 2008 8:54pm

The sometime stand-up comedian
Mr Brown, who got his first big break in 1997, also has a number of one man shows, including his own composition
One Man Wrecking Machine, under his belt along with many televison appearances.

Inspired by true events on movie screens
I am a one man wrecking machine.
Here in the present tense
Nothing makes sense.
Waiting for my moment to come
everything's come undone.

David Dzidzikashvili

December 13th, 2008 2:56pm

Current global financial crisis was a result of greed by large investment & financial institutions, CEOs and individual investors, whose policies dragged whole world down and resulted in inflation, unemployment, foreclosures and bankruptcies. The worst still yet to come in 2009. There is a need for more stable financial system that leaders around the world can agree on to guarantee long-term stability. In addition, the investors who personally were involved in the greed schemes that caused the economic chaos should be arrested and jailed for their involvement in the world economic catastrophe. We can’t tolerate anymore some individuals’ greedy aspirations ruining the lives of people around the world.

Ancient & Modern

Peter Jones

Peter Jones looks into some classical apophthegms

Status Anxiety

Toby Young

‘Hyper-parenting’ may be bad — but look what happened when I tried the alternative

The Wiki Man

Rory Sutherland

A fortnightly column on technology and the web

Standing Room

Sarah Standing

When I was young, being given ‘options’ was a treat.

Another Voice

Matthew Parris

It is good that MPs have second jobs — but they should share the proceeds

The real sickness is Labour’s, not Brown’s

Fraser Nelson

Fraser Nelson says that the governing party has lost its hunger for office — and is now unhealthily dominated by the mega-union Unite and its political chieftain, Charlie Whelan

We came close to losing our democracy in 1979

Douglas Eden

Douglas Eden reveals the extraordinary penetration of the 1970s Labour movement by pro-Soviet trade unionists and the extent of Callaghan’s toleration of the hard Left