Another Voice
I wish George Eliot or Alan Bennett had been with me in the Ryanair check-in queue
‘Anyway we won’t crash, and it’s been a lovely week with you for company. I’ve never missed home once. I don’t mind being away. Frank and me are... well, comfortable now. And he likes the space, and having the ’ouse to ’imself, and I like a little break. He doesn’t really miss me, you know. I don’t mind. But I was 23 too, once, you know, an’ I do remember. The young men... oh it was lovely.’
Again, a moment of pain on Janet’s face, quickly banished. Brightening up: ‘We’ve had a good time together, anyway. And we’ve been all over. Everything except bungee-jumping!’
‘Ooh count me out of bungee-jumping. I’m the wrong weight. Too ’eavy. I wouldn’t trust the elastic.’
‘Don’t be silly! They make sure the bungee-rope’s strong enough.’
‘No, no, dear: my elastic.’ She glanced down at her bosom and rolled her eyes skyward. ‘Wouldn’t that be embarrassin’ — what with everyone lookin’? And hangin’ upside down, too.’ She and Janet were shaken with giggles.
The more this woman spoke the more my first inclination, which had been to mock, fell away. She was a candid, tolerant, self-deprecating and — in her way — rather witty person. Though undiplomatic she was kind-hearted. She and Janet had been on every coach tour the package holiday had offered, and she was brimming with wonder and appreciation at the things she had seen. Those overheard exchanges were full of humour, witting and unwitting, but also of pathos. I don’t know Frank, and never will, but I know he’s a fool for not holidaying with his wife. She was tremendous fun.
Alan Bennett or George Eliot could make something of these characters. That exchange would be the beginning, not the end of the story. But all I could do was take a note.
Matthew Parris Is A Columnist On The Times.
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Stuart Rose
May 23rd, 2008 11:09pmA funny,warm and discerning piece, Matthew.
Yes, those of us who are well-educated and verbal are too quick to mock and dismiss. It can be, as you confess, a stinginess on our part; there is much more humanity, decency, and wit out there than we often take the time to recognize. My epiphany happened a few years back when I was treated to a round of storytelling by an aunt of mine I had always considered a culturally poor relation.