RSS

Contact us

Tuesday 2 December 2008

Status Anxiety

Did my wife really mean it when she said I didn’t have to be present at the birth?

The news just got better and better! Friday was shaping up to be something of a holiday. After dropping Caroline off at Queen Charlotte’s, I could go back to bed with a cup of tea and actually read the paper for the first time in five years. After that, I could catch up with some of the Euro 2008 highlights backed up on my Sky Plus and then, when my mother-in-law arrives, head off to my lunch, followed by a trip to the Shepherd’s Bush Vue. Has The Incredible Hulk opened yet? If not, there is always Iron Man. Presumably, this is exactly how expectant fathers behaved in the Good Old Days.

It was not until the following day that my reverie was shattered. I was at the opening of a new alfresco restaurant at Fulham Palace called The Lawn — lovely, by the way — and bumped into Clare Margetson, the former women’s editor of the Guardian. I boasted about how ‘enlightened’ my wife was, not holding with the politically correct view that husbands ought to be present at the birth of their children.

‘She didn’t mean it, you idiot,’ said Clare.

‘What? No, no, no, I’m sure she did.’

‘Are you insane? Of course she wants you to be there.’

‘But then why —’

‘Women say that sort of thing all the time. It’s a test. She doesn’t want you to be there under duress — she wants you to be there of your own free will.’

‘Are you positive about this?’

‘Believe me, if you’re not there, she’ll hold it against you.’

A quick straw poll of the other young mums at the party confirmed that Clare was correct. Having got into trouble before by taking things Caroline has said at face value, I decided to listen to their advice. In these situations, men are expected to be metro-sexuals, not red-blooded heterosexuals. Iron Man would have to give way to Ironing Man.

My father-in-law, a wise old bird called Ivo, telephoned to tell me I was doing the right thing. He recalled that a friend of his had been unable to attend the birth of his youngest daughter because of a ‘business dinner’ and he still had not heard the end of it. ‘That was 33 years ago,’ he said. ‘I think you’ve made the right decision.

Toby Young is associate editor of The Spectator.

More articles from: Toby Young | this section

Print this article  |  Email to a friend  |  Permalink  |   Comments (1)

Post this entry to:   del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit

Advertisement

Spectator Business | Apollo Magazine

Corporate | Advertising | Privacy | Terms

Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London, SW1H 9HP

All Articles and Content Copyright ©2008 by The Spectator | All Rights Reserved