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Status Anxiety

Toby Young

Wednesday, 9th July 2008

Welcome to the Kindergarchy

Last Saturday, I was due to attend a garden party being hosted by one of my oldest friends, but I did not have time. After picking up four-year-old Sasha from swimming I had to take her to a party, then pick her up from that party and take her to another, then take three-year-old Ludo to a party, then pick them both up and bring them home.

I have no doubt that this pattern — or something like it — was repeated up and down the country. If a Martian landed in Britain on a Saturday afternoon, knowing nothing about us in advance, he would conclude that we live in a world in which children occupy the highest social tier, with adults acting as their indentured servants. And he would be right.

This phenomenon is not confined to Britain. Joseph Epstein, a retired American academic, has coined the word ‘Kindergarchy’ to describe this phenomenon. ‘Children have gone from background to foreground figures in domestic life, with more and more attention centered on them, their upbringing, their small accomplishments, their right relationship with parents and grandparents,’ he wrote in a recent issue of the Weekly Standard.

So what? I can hear people saying. Surely a society in which children are mollycoddled is better than one in which they’re neglected? Would Professor Epstein prefer it if they were sent off to work in blacking factories at the age of 12? I accept that the Kindergarchy is difficult to criticise. Indeed, that is why it has become so deeply entrenched. The reason so many middle-class parents devote so much time to their children is because it is such an uncontroversial outlet for their desire to do good. My mother and father were social activists, constantly striving to improve the lot of the worst off, but their behaviour only made sense within the context of a left-wing ideology that has been largely discredited. This process of disillusionment began in the mid-1970s, but it accelerated under New Labour and we have now reached the point where an entire generation has abandoned politics and instead concentrates on creating a better world in the nursery. Marx and Engels have given way to Charlie and Lola.

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David Short

July 10th, 2008 2:07pm

In an episode of 'Seinfeld', Jerry in a stand-up routine said the same thing about aliens watching from afar about who's in charge.

Jerry was talking about poop-scooping.

Malcolm McLaren Dow

July 11th, 2008 10:28pm

"The corollary of this is a loss of faith in the very idea of progress."

Toby do you dream this kind of stuff up in your sleep sleep or were you born with the affliction?

No Martian of any inellegence is not going to waste "his" time on this godforsaken corner of the universe.

It's a dump. We have made it so.
A corrupt and polluted dump.

That's what we offer our children.

While you may pay your rent rent with cynicism, the rest of us have to try and explain the unholy mess to our moments of passion.

Yes, perhaps parents don't trust The State anymore to do anything other than rip off and get up to all manner of ugliness.

"On the contrary, most educated people have become deeply skeptical about whether it is possible to improve our society at all."

What complete crap.
sceptical? Or do you mean skeptical?

If you want to change the world you have to start with the kids.
Because the adults,as so brilliantly shown by your copy, have their heads up their ass.

"‘I tried, ever so gently, to tell them that no one cared what they felt;"

Well maybe it is about time the adults did care about the children and not their own fucked up mortgage problems.

I could go for hours on the subject, but a quick summery is you should be ashamed of yourself.

A fatuous article.

Malc Dow

Kilda McKeever

July 28th, 2008 7:19pm

I think you are absolutely right,mollycoddling is rampant. I have read about college students telling Deans to call their parents when they get in trouble or have a quibble about a grade. The policy by kindergarten teachers and playdate coaches of rewarding every kid for existing also adds to the unrealistic expectations of generating awe in elders.
I must admit I did some of that but if you have a slew of kids, the younger ones learn to fend for themselves. Maybe they are the lucky ones.