So we went to Wembley Arena to witness for the first time what is called ‘cage fighting’.
The announcer stepped into the round wire cage and began his spiel. It’s loud. Too loud — but everything is loud here, the music, the announcements and the screaming birds whose piercingly high vocal chords outdo any yobs, shouting ‘Kill him Jimmy ... kill ’im!!’
Just a few seats away her piercing shriek is like an arrow in my ear. The object of her devotion is heavyweight James ‘Machine’ MacSweeny, 6ft4 and weighing 107kg. He does indeed fight like a well-oiled machine and devastates his opponent, a huge well-built Mark Buchanan. James is awesome. So fierce is the combat, using light gloves, knees, feet, boxing, wrestling and just about everything thrown into the pot that the fight can only last a maximum of 15 minutes, in three five-minute rounds. He triumphs over his formidable adversary. MacSweeny’s face is unmarked, perfect, like a model. He finished and performs his ritual of triumph by climbing the wire pen and straddling the top like a proud barbarian or like some primitive beast of the forest. His fans shriek and bay. They love it, and him, and the loser is swept away or just slinks off. Sometimes the announcer begs a little appreciative show from the audience for his loser’s bravery.
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