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How To Be Topp

How To Be Topp: Ding-dong Farely Merily For Xmas

Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle

Wednesday, 12th December 2007

A seasonal reading from Molesworth

molesworth 2 is very amusing about carols i must sa he hav a famous carol

He think this is so funy he roar with larffter whenever he think of it and as he spend most of the night thinking of it i do not get much slepe chiz. i sa SHUTUP molesworth 2 SHUTUP i want to go to slepe but in vain the horid zany go cakling on. It is not as if it is funy i mean a bar of sunlight soap ha-ha well it is not ha-ha-ha-ha a bar of ha-ha-ha-ha......

Oh well.

Another thing about xmas eve is that your pater always reads the xmas carol by c. dickens. You canot stop this aktualy although he pretend to ask you whether you would like it. He sa:

Would you like me to read the xmas carol as it is xmas eve, boys?

We are listening to the space serial on the wireless, daddy.

But you canot prefer that nonsense to the classick c. dickens?

Be quiet. He is out of control and heading for jupiter.

But —

He’s had it the treen space ships are ataking him ur-ur-ur-whoosh. Out of control limping in the space vacuum for evermore unless they can get the gastric fuel compressor tampons open.

I —

Why don’t they try Earth on the intercom? They will never open those tampons with only a z-ray griper. They will —

Father thwarted strike both boys heavily with loaded xmas stoking and tie their hands behind their backs. He cart them senseless into the sitting room and prop both on his knees. Then he begin:

Then he rub hands together and sa You will enjoy this boys it is all about ghosts and goodwill. It is tip-top stuff and there is an old man called scrooge who hates xmas and canot understand why everyone is so mery. To this you sa nothing except that scrooge is your favourite character in fiction next to tarzan of the apes. But you can sa anything chiz. Nothing in the world in space is ever going to stop those fatal words:

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