Sorry, but apologies really are the work of the Devil

Water

I'm glad the vast majority of us don't think like you. This isn't to say the vast majority of spec readers don't, neither is it to say that they do.

Air

Spot on, Anna, except for one nagging detail; there seems to be some confusion in the article between forgiveness and reconciliation. All forgiveness means is that the injured party not exercise active revenge against the wrongdoer; it doesn't mean injured parties can't cut wrongdoers out of their lives altogether.

Reconciliation is something else altogether; the burden lies with the offenders, who must 1)acknowledge the offenses committed 2) apologize sincerely; and 3) actively make amends. If they can't or won't do that, the injured parties aren't obliged to take them back.

Abu Nudnik

Great!

David Short

This is far too much over-long blathering to make one simple point, and in any case it belongs in the Polly Filler sections of the Evening Standard, where they have a lot of pages to fill up around the advertising five days a week, not in an expensive, supposedly thoughtful weekly such as the Spectator.

Gordon H

How do you feel, Anna, about those who apologise on behalf of others?

Here in Australia we have a new Prime Minister who felt it necessary to say sorry to people who claim they were of a stolen generation.

He was referring to young Aboriginal Australians who were put into care decades ago because they were suffering great deprivation or abuse.

They were not stolen, but given a chance, often by their parents, of a better life.

Wilf

And?

Sam Korn

Let's look behind the blather at the logical step you are making...

* People abuse apologies when they are insincere;
* Therefore, apologies are bad.

This is so remarkably devoid of logic as to be completely nonsensical.

Len Burch

Ever heard the "Soaps"?

They are nothing more than a succession of apologies and sighs mixed with expressions of wants - liking or disliking.

Len Burch

Time Anna realised that brackets go as two's and confusingly make no sense in the way she uses them

Deepak Malhotra

Sorry, nothing to say.

Ella

This is great, and perpetually true. Well done, I laughed out loud.

BILL

Needed to be said.

It is interesting that people try to fend the pseudo sorry on people they generally feel they can piss on.... because that's the kind of person they generally have no compunctions supporting.

I sent this to my brother, who while 19 and in college lived with my family free of rent while I lived in a children's home and haven't heard from them since. As a straight A, well behaved student, who wondered for years why I was cast out... he expects me to accept sorry for his years of privilege. He nurtures self-pity that I don't accept his 'apology'.

To which I say, SORRY.