Low Life
Toeing the line
I’m down in the bar underneath the stand at half time and everyone’s exceedingly jolly. The team isn’t playing badly for a change. At least we’re trying. Plus, we’ve got a new bloke who can actually pitch over an accurate corner kick. And the sun’s shining.
The police run a tight ship at football matches these days. We aren’t allowed to stand up during the game, or smoke, or consume alcohol. And we have to watch what we say or sing because certain subjects are strictly off-limits. Shirt-sleeved policemen sitting in a control room closely monitor our behaviour on CCTV screens. They are assisted in this task by hundreds of match-day stewards who crouch in front of the wall separating us from the pitch, watching and listening.
I once knew a man who served a prison sentence in Albania for throwing a photograph of Enver Hoxha in the bin. This puts into perspective the small losses to our personal liberty that we submit to at football matches. Going without a pint of lager or a cigarette for 45 minutes can be done. Watching a football match sitting down is ridiculous, but the kind of person that can afford to pay £63 to see a game probably prefers it. So we don’t grumble or get upset. We make the best of it. It’s bad enough watching a rubbish football team every week, without worrying about your civil liberties as well. Still, it’s a pleasant relief when the referee blows his whistle for half time and we can troop downstairs to the bar and top up our alcohol levels (and maybe sneak a crafty fag) away from prying eyes and ears.
I’m down in the bar with my nose in my pint, then, along with a couple of hundred other punters gratefully doing the same, when I notice that the chaps next to me have fired up a joint of marijuana. It’s an appallingly rolled joint, the work of an amateur, too tight at one end and too loose at the other, and the smoke is billowing out of the end like smoke from a garden bonfire.
More articles from: Jeremy Clarke | this section
Post this entry to: del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit
Advertisement
Don’t confuse conversation with dialogue or quips
Catherine BlythCatherine Blyth says that conversation is an art: its essence is the acrobatic business of reading and changing minds — talking with people, not at them
Shared Opinion
Hugo Rifkind
I’m not saying these are bad people. Just that they are fat
The market crashes, but the gravy train rolls on
Bryan ForbesBryan Forbes lists the prime offenders who continue to fleece taxpayers, consumers, football fans and television owners even as the financial crisis bites. Shame on this Age of Greed
To muzzle the short-seller is to muzzle free speech
Patrick MacaskieThe market needs speculators who are willing to challenge the big battalions, says Patrick Macaskie. Don’t believe the hype: short-sellers were not the villains of this financial crisis
Slow Life
Alex James
Conquering hero
Latest blog posts
sponsored links
Free Sky Digital Offer - Order Now
Subscribe to Sky from £16 a month. Get free equipment and free broadband - Join Now. Sky HD - be amongst the first to have it - order now.
Free Sky Digital Offer - Order Now
Subscribe to Sky from £16 a month. Get free equipment and free broadband - Join Now. Sky HD - be...
ROME CENTRE
PORTA METRONIA, ROME Standing high on the top of one of the seven hills of Rome- the Coelian- this unique
City Breaks. ROME and PARIS
ROME and PARIS: over 350 holiday rentals apartments listed: visit www.romanreference.com and www.parisreference.com or call +39 0648 903612.
Jewellery. RUFFS (Estd. 1904).
Goldsmiths by Design Welcome to Ruffs! You have found a company of Goldsmiths that specialises in the manufacture, amongst other
Spectator Business | Apollo Magazine
Corporate | Advertising | Privacy | Terms
Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London, SW1H 9HP
All Articles and Content Copyright ©2008 by The Spectator | All Rights Reserved
chas
October 2nd, 2008 1:22pmI prefer to watch 'non-league' football. I can stand up or sit down and I can have a drink and a fag while watching the match.