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Cut-price torture

Melissa Kite

Wednesday, 27th February 2008

Melissa Kite leads a Real Life

My favourite television advertisement at the moment is for EDF energy, which promises us that it can make our bills lower. All we have to do is use less gas and electricity. Please, do not snort. I snorted initially. Then a few days later I received my gas bill from EDF. It was the largest household bill I have ever received. It was the size of a mortgage. It was eye-watering. It was heartstopping. It made me gasp for breath and clutch at the kitchen table until my knuckles turned white. The panic only subsided partially once I had investigated my savings portfolio and ascertained that if I moved large sums of money around and sold a few shares I could probably just about pay it. But before I did any of that I let go of the kitchen table, staggered over to the thermostat, slammed my hand against the controls with great ceremony and shut off the heating with every intention of keeping if off forever.

I made my excuses to the various pets arraigned in front of me who are the real beneficiaries of Electricité de France’s services as they are the ones who sit at home all day absorbing the premium-rated heat. ‘I’m sorry,’ I told BB, the giant rabbit, and my tabby cat, Louis. ‘But things have got to change.’ They looked back at me most pathetically, but I have stuck to my guns through fair weather and foul ever since. The heating is not coming back on. And I’m not using the cooker either (actually, I have to be honest, I turned that particular appliance off at the mains ages ago when I realised I hadn’t used it for about five years).

Anyway, the point is this: EDF was right. It delivered on its promise. It made me curb, no, drastically reduce, no, end my energy use. I am hugely grateful to the company. And I am very much looking forward to my next bill being zero. If only, I can hear you say, the same incentives could be offered in other key areas of our lives we would be saving money all over the place. Well, with a little switch in perception it is possible to see that many other corporations and authorities do indeed have the same compassionate ideas to save us money as EDF.

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Dwight Vandryver

February 28th, 2008 10:01pm

For some while, Britain has been known overseas as "Treasure Island". European companies in particular have profited from our national lack of vision, direction and resolve. EDF is no exception. Through its subsidiary, EDF Energies Nouvelles, it has built 8 windfarms in the UK at our behest. And if we change our minds and want nuclear power, or any other sort of power generation, EDF will oblige. These costs, of course, will be passed on to the consumer. It is not that EDF is wrong in supplying what we ask, but what is wrong is that the government have known about our energy vulnerability for at least a decade and done nothing to create a coherent long term energy policy. The same sort of political paralysis applies to transport policy. Any studies that have been done recently regarding energy or transport always recommend financially penalising the user, resulting in a "zero use, zero cost" mindset. Clearly, this is inappropriate for a modern economy, unless stagnation is the ultimate goal. But, then, Britain has always survived despite the government, not because of it.

Vaffa

March 4th, 2008 7:04pm

Gosh, what a jerk! The 25ł fee applies only to cars over 3000 ccm! That means sports cars, muscle cars, large SUVs and the like. Whats this, the Revolution of the Rich? Who said you have to move your ass around in a 3L car and 2 tons of steel? Large family sedans can do with 2000 ccm, more than enough. So ridiculous. You spend 10000s on an unnecessarily large (and polluting) vehicle and then cry for having to pay 25ł in a hopelessly congested city! What a stupid jerk!