Fat cat diary
Aidan Hartley on the Wild Life
Nairobi
I want to say Kenya is a victim of negative press. Shady characters called bloggers are nicknaming the President’s new Peace cabinet of ministers ‘Ali Baba and his 40 Thieves’. That is very cheeky. Everybody knows there are 42 ministers, 52 assistant ministers and 42 permanent secretaries. But ‘Ali Baba and his 136 Thieves’ isn’t so catchy. Typical imperialists and their comprador agents on the world wide web. Britain and the US should be careful. The Chinese can also be our friends.
Unfortunately, we are not yet free. Even today our former colonial masters call the shots. That is why they forced our politicians into a peace accord to stop the recent bloodbath. What we need are African solutions for African problems. (Kofi Annan may be Ghanaian but that is not the point.) Westerners do not care about Africans killing each other. Their priority is only to control our resources. Everybody knows we have undiscovered oil. Whites still own 80 per cent of the land growing pineapples for multinationals. Asians do not allow anybody else to compete in industry. American scientists — probably the same ones who invented Aids — come to steal our bacteria and make millions patenting biological detergents. Enough of Europe underdeveloping Africa! We must ban all foreign investors who steal jobs from Kenyans.
Some bloggers described the bloodletting here as ‘tribal’. And TV stations showed youths pulling innocent civilians from taxis to be butchered, while others sharpened their pangas on the asphalt. These reports reinforce an unfairly negative image of Africa — but why do they not show positive images? It is like the British campaign to undermine Zimbabwe’s economy to punish Robert Mugabe for taking back land from the whites. Journalists make it look as if there are more plane crashes in Africa than on any other continent. Why don’t you report on all the aircraft that take off safely? It is time Africans had their own media and by that I certainly don’t mean bloggers.
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John Dean
April 25th, 2008 9:04amAmerican scientists invented AIDS! I've heard this nonsense before but ever expected to encounter in The Spectator.
woz
April 25th, 2008 2:25pmAidan, a fabulous send up of the rambling nonsense you read on blogs, the letters pages and even commentaries in the Kenya press; in fact a wonderful send up of Kenya pub talk.
However, I fear many will not get it unless they are acquainted with the embarrassing drivel that the average Dorcas and Jacintha in downtown Nairobi come out with.
Tom Hutton
May 3rd, 2008 2:40amI'm a faithful reader of Hartley. I even read his book Zanzibar Chest and corresponded with him once by e-mail (writer's addresses appparently are no longer offered at The Speccie). But I have to say this particular bit he wrote is all over the lot. Africa for the Africans, he cries, but he's angry the West doesn't give them more money. But he has written before that our donations were wasted on Mercs for the political bosses. Still he wants more and threatens to get it from China instead. I'm not sure what to make of it all. I'm afraid my old friend is stressed out. Breath deeply, Aidan, and relax. It's all going to be OK.
rakhee kantaria
May 6th, 2008 5:00amHilarious! Should be called the big fat 5 at mount kenya's safari club!!