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Dear Mary

Mary Killen

Wednesday, 11th June 2008

Your problems solved

Q. I have started receiving regular emails from a very old friend inviting me to avail myself of the services of the wealth management company in which he is a partner. Since I am penniless, and from the uncharacteristically humour-free tenor of these letters, I can tell that I was never meant to be a recipient, and that my email address has somehow osmosed from his personal contacts to his customer database. That other, equally impecunious old friends have received the same letters would seem to confirm this. But we know that pointing out that our respective net worths preclude us from becoming his clients would greatly embarrass him (he is painfully sensitive to issues of etiquette), as would simply asking him to remove us from his business mailing list. What would you suggest, Mary?

S.C., Greenwich Village, NYC

A. Deal with this by sending your old friend a return email which gives the impression it is destined for everyone within your personal contacts list. Write ‘Dear All. Sorry to send out a round robin but, because of the high risk of email viruses, I have programmed my inbox to receive personal emails only at this address. Please send anything other than personal emails to’ — then provide a hotmail or gmail address which can be easily set up and need never be checked since only one of your friends will have it.

Q. I am about to order some headed airmail paper and I am unclear as to whether it should say United Kingdom, Great Britain or England. Please will you be so kind as to advise.

G.C., London SW1

A. England has always been correct form in the past and well within many readers’ own lifetimes ‘North Britain’ was appended to letters to Scotland. The expression ‘UK’ is jarring to sensitive ears and Great Britain is plainly absurd, so why not endorse your decision by looking to the French, who always use Angleterre when addressing envelopes?

Q. I have been a member of the London Library for about 25 years, but now that the membership fee is going up to £375 I really feel in two minds about renewing my subscription. I hardly ever go to London these days because I always seem to break some traffic rule when I do so, but I have very fond memories of the Library and would hate to feel I was perpetually excluded from it if new-money members swarm in to take my place. What guidance can you offer, Mary?

Name withheld, Burford

A. The fees seem very high, but when you consider that they permit online access, through your home computer, to all manner of valuable data banks such as JSTOR and the DNB, the £7 per week seems something of a bargain. The social opportunities of the staircase are second to none and the atmosphere of the reading room conducive to productivity. If you see the increase as an incentive for you to make use of your membership rather than treating the Library as a gym and never going, then you can turn it to your advantage.

If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP.

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