RSS

Contact us

Saturday 22 November 2008

Dear Mary

Your problems solved

Q. I travel frequently to Cape Town where I have a house. I always fly in business class or sometimes in first class. I wonder when it is permissible as opposed to rude to put up the barrier between me and a total stranger in the seat next door during the 11.5 hours flight?
J.L., London SW10

A. It is generally accepted that all first and business class passengers want mental privacy during the flight but there are two schools of thought regarding the etiquette of achieving this. One frequent-flying über-alpha of my acquaintance holds that, ‘It is always appropriate to put up the barrier. The primary rules of business class/first class travel are: (i) no eye contact with your ‘seat mate’; (ii) no querying about what he/she is going to choose off the menu; (iii) no helping of your seat mate in putting his/her baggage in the overhead compartment — that is the job of the flight stewards; (iv) no laughing or crying if you are watching a film and your seat mate is trying to sleep; and (v) no offering to share a taxi (or your limo if you should be so lucky) from the airport.’ Less work-stressed sophisticates believe it correct to make smiling, non-verbal eye-contact once with each of your fellow voyagers, just to establish benignity, before settling quietly down and putting up the barrier. If it is sensed that the inexperienced seat mate adjacent may be offended by your instant exclusion, then bring out a lap-top and open it up to complicated financial spreadsheets. Tell him/her not to be insulted, but company rules require you to put up the barrier when you are looking at very confidential financial information.  
 
Q. How can you tell other people tactfully that their gum-chewing makes them look bad? Quite a few girls from my school chew gum at parties — usually as a way to stop themselves eating too much and making sure they don’t have bad breath. But I have seen my brother’s friends imitating these girls by putting on high voices and pretending to chew and I feel if they only knew what a turn-off it was to the kind of boys they are trying to attract they would do themselves a favour and cut out the habit. What do you recommend, Mary?
A.C., London W12

A. Gum-chewers wrongly imagine their habit is discreet. It is only kind to alert
them to the error of their ways. Observe to the offender’s face that you note she is chewing gum and engage her in discussion of the merits of rival brands. Share the news that you too adore gum but that you have had to stop using it at parties because your brother tipped you off that you were chomping in a really disgusting manner and it was putting people off. ‘I always used to forget that I wasn’t at home,’ you can confide. ‘How do you avoid forgetting where you are and just chomping away?’ you can enquire pleasantly. 

Q. May I pass on a tip to e-literate readers? Go to www.dylanmessaging.com. Click enterdylanmessaging.com. There you can substitute your own ten-word message on the series of placards famously held up by Dylan, then cast away, during the video for ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues’. Email the result to a friend who will be delighted to see Dylan himself, so to speak, delivering your message. The service is free.
 C.B., Aldeburgh, Suffolk
 
A. Thank you for alerting readers to this charming and original (for the short term) method of communication.

 

More articles from: Mary Killen | this section

Print this article  |  Email to a friend  |  Permalink  |   Comment

Post this entry to:   del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit

Advertisement

Spectator Business | Apollo Magazine

Corporate | Advertising | Privacy | Terms

Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London, SW1H 9HP

All Articles and Content Copyright ©2008 by The Spectator | All Rights Reserved