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High Life

Taki

Wednesday, 20th August 2008

Way of the warrior

On board S/Y Bushido

Finally a gold medal for Greece, for cheating. Fifteen of our men and women have joined the pantheon of cheaters, the latest our 400-metres hurdles gold medal winner in Athens, Fani Halkia. It’s a disgrace but the athletes are not solely to blame. Ever since the Soviet Union began using the stuff that makes women grow moustaches for their shot putters, early in the Sixties, the athletes have been pawns of governments. What’s a dumb young person supposed to do when their trainer tells him or her to inject a substance which will turn them into winners? Report them to higher-ups who have given the order in the first place?

I’ve just celebrated yet another birthday, which I need like the proverbial hole in the cranium, and at 72 I am fed up with our pampered youth, but fair is fair. All the cheats were taught to cheat early and then some. I only hope that Jamaica does not turn out to win a Nobel Prize for masking agents, but cruising to a 100-metres win in 9.6 seconds has detective Taki on the scent. So far, so cynical. The Jamaicans will point out that they’ve had 36 visits from the anti-doping team and that Usain Bolt himself has been tested at least six times since he got to China. Who knows? They may well be clean — unlike the Greeks.

Peking was once a beautiful city which has been turned into a hideous mass of skyscrapers by the ruling gang of capitomunists. The Potemkin performance of that little girl singing ‘Ode to the Motherland’ was typical. The voice was right, the teeth were not, but the combination worked. Maybe Chen Qigang, the music director, should also be disqualified, like the 15 Greeks. The only way to stop the cheating is to declare it legal, or ban each and every country whose athletes use an illegal substance for, say, two Olympic Games. That’s two paid-for trips, stays in 5-star hotels, and endless parties with the de rigueur hookers following. Not many officials would like to see themselves excluded from these bonanzas, so cheating would at least be curtailed. Needless to say, all athletes and their trainers should be banned for life once caught.

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