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Holidays: the ninja way

Matthew d'Ancona

Wednesday, 16th July 2008

Matthew d’Ancona’s young sons show him a good time in Cyprus

In the end, as so often in life, it boils down to the basics. What you need is three things: a persuasive working knowledge of ninja philosophy and nutrition; a reasonable grasp of the best musicals of modern times; and an aquarium.

But I am getting ahead of myself. How does a father keep his two young sons (seven and five) amused and healthy for a week in Cyprus? Obviously, you have to pack the essentials: factor 40 sunblock for the first day or so; an inflatable turtle; a copy of Fantastic Mr Fox by Roald Dahl; a bag of Transformers toys; a portable DVD player and the first three Indiana Jones films on disc; an Indiana Jones costume (ages six to eight); mobile phone and charger; iPods (two); morale-boosting pictures of David Tennant as Doctor Who (assorted); and some glue.

It helps, of course, to go to a terrific spa resort like Le Meridien in Limassol which seems to cater for families effortlessly, with no hint of the noisy shambles into which some ‘child-friendly’ hotels quite understandably descend. The smooth elegance of its halls, airy avenues and peaceful gardens seems immutable. And yet families crash about quite merrily around the pool, the bars and the restaurants without raising eyebrows or being made to feel uncomfortable. Somewhere hidden in this mysterious hotelier’s formula, I suspect, is the secret to life, the universe and everything.

We spent most days by the biggest of many pools, which also has a top-notch aquaslide: very important, this. Game theorists and neurologists ought to study the behaviour of children on aquaslides. However listless or bored they might initially claim to be, the very first go releases some sort of kid endorphin which will keep them going almost limitlessly. And 40-year-olds, too: I managed 20 successive slides one afternoon, alternating children on my chest. This was a good day’s work.

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