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Diary

Jane Moore

Wednesday, 17th October 2007

Sun columnist Jane Moore on her week

Gordon, I’m afraid, needs to be ‘sexed up’ if he’s to resonate with the all-important female voter. No one’s suggesting he wear a leopard-print thong for PMQs, but on the political stage he has the demeanour of a dinner-party bore, telling an anecdote in all its drearily precise, ‘tell a lie, it was a Thursday’ real time, rather than editing it to be more palatable or amusing. Even when he’s saying something of value, the monotone delivery and eggy pauses make it political blah blah blah, and with a ‘to do’ list to rival the Hutton report in length, most women just don’t have time to cut through the waffle. One would imagine the greatest challenge in television news today is finding a Gordon soundbite for the opening headlines. As a leader, being thought of as masterful is a vote winner, and provided you deliver results, you can even get away with Jose Mourinho-style arrogance or downright stroppiness. But someone should tell the PM that blathering and dithering are electoral passion-killers. Just ask poor Ming Campbell. The minute the media branded him ‘doddery’ I knew it was all over.

I have just received a cheque for £600 from Rory Bremner, which is lovely because I wasn’t expecting it at all. Then it turned out this was because it wasn’t actually meant for me. This comes a few weeks after Rory sent a text inviting me to the Oval to watch cricket, a game I loathe to the extent that even the highlights bore me. Turns out he’d meant to invite the same man he then later posted me a cheque for. Since the intended payee and I don’t share an even faintly similar surname, I suggested poor Rory may be suffering from early-onset senility, but he assures me his dithering and confusion is purely down to being mid-run of the latest series of his rather excellent Bremner, Bird and Fortune. Either that, or his impersonation of the new Prime Minister is coming along nicely.

Jane Moore is a Sun columnist, author and broadcaster.

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