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Global warning

Theodore Dalrymple

Wednesday, 2nd January 2008

A friend of mine, a very busy man who knew that I had retired and had little to do except meet deadlines, asked me recently to help him find a flat for rent in a distant part of the country.

Naturally enough, this definition made me think at once of Mr Blair. Does it not fit him very neatly? Was not the sight of a former British prime minister taking a lot of money for speaking briefly at a Chinese sales meeting for expensive luxury houses confirmation strong as proofs of holy writ?

But let us not descend to the merely personal; rather, let us ascend to the altogether higher plane of sociological, political, economic and historical generalisation. Has not British government policy been, at least since the time of Mrs Thatcher, the ever-widening extension of the realm of spivvery? Why, even our civil servants have become spivs, hoping for some crack in the façade of legality to creep into and make their fortune in a few months.

What is the difference between a spiv and an entrepreneur? No doubt the difference is sometimes one of degree rather than of kind, but that does not mean there is no difference at all. It is not easy to say at what precise height a man may be considered tall or short: but that does not mean there are no tall or short men.

An entrepreneur, while not necessarily admirable in all his qualities (as which of us is?), thinks of something new and adds it to stock of wealth-production. A spiv creates nothing himself, but rather flourishes in an over-regulated world. He is to commerce what an apparatchik is to public service. He is sharp, but only in a world blunted by bureaucracy.

If you want to know why and how we can spend untold extra billions on public services and end up with nothing to show for it, you could do worse than reflect on spivvery. But is Mr Brown a spiv?

Well, the various dubious schemes seem to fit him pretty well. But a good time? It is hard to tell. As they say in Germany, every little animal has its little pleasure.

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Austin Barry

January 4th, 2008 5:09pm

Is Mr Brown a spiv? No, I don't think so. You need some flair to be a spiv and McBroon is completely lacking in chutzpah. His ghastly chum Peter Hain is though almost the perfect spiv.

Davyd Bowen

January 9th, 2008 4:22am

We once viewed quite a bit of British television programming in Canada. Your description of a spiv brought to mind the character that "Minder" minded. Unfortunately the name of the character and that of the actor who portrayed him has, well, slipped my mind.

Roger Cooper

January 12th, 2008 8:06am

Regarding relative height, I believe it's all 'in the eye of the beholder'. Being 6'2" myself I only consider a man tall if he's at least 6'4", while one of 5'8" is 'a bit on the short side', and so on. I judge women by other factors than height.

paul lynch

March 10th, 2008 8:13am

Did all this cosmic musing help your friend find shelter, or just send you broke, your friend forgotten?

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