Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week
Monday
Am engaged on top secret mission — the accidental snapping by a tabloid photographer of Sam nipping out for late-night essentials on the mean streets of west London! We first planned for her to be caught buying fair-trade mozzarella in Partridges on Gloucester Road but Jed said this wasn’t gritty enough. So she’s going to go somewhere really downbeat in North Kensington — with security to make sure she doesn’t get mugged, of course. We can’t leave safety to chance. Not with London in the grip of a crime wave, and all of Britain beaten down and driven to acts of desperation by the lash of recession.
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