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Saturday 19 July 2008

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Clemency Burton-Hill

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Diary of a Notting Hill nobody

Tamzin Lightwater

Tuesday, 18th March 2008

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

Wednesday

Bit of a hitch launching our new plans to ban City bonuses. We were going to do it in the Golden Mile but Gids refused and said, ‘Tell Mr Cameron he will have to launch his own clampdown on big business.’

Must say, I think he’s missing a trick. I mean, it’s all very well making multi-billion-pound profits which keep Britain afloat, blah blah. But what are these so-called fat cats doing about the litter in the streets outside their offices? What are they doing to help the underprivileged Muslim kids a few miles from their door? As Dave says, nowhere else in the world can you make profits willy nilly and just rely on paying huge taxes as a way of putting something back into society. Thankfully, our plans to impose tough new penalties on shops which put chocolate oranges near the counter will put that right. And about time too.

Thursday

Oh dear. Mr Redwood is going around saying our commitment to delay tax cuts indefinitely is obviously a firm tax-cutting pledge. Nanu! Nanu! Shazbot! Luckily Dave hasn’t noticed as he’s still in a foul mood about ‘stupid TV’. Jed has told him Cheerio-gate won’t go away until he gets himself accidentally photographed at Lidl buying fishfingers or shakes hands with Kerry Katona. It’s not pleasant. But we all have to make tough choices.

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