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Global warning

Theodore Dalrymple

Wednesday, 8th August 2007

You — or perhaps it would be more accurate to say I — can’t get away anywhere from crime and criminality.

I was walking down a country lane in one of the most beautiful shires of England. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the lambs were gambolling in the fields, the trees were decked out in the tender green of spring, my dog was at my side: for a moment, I felt almost glad to be alive. Then I met the local magistrate, who was also out walking his dog.

When two men in their late fifties meet, their first talk is of the wickedness — the unprecedented wickedness — of youth (lament being the consolation of age). Then they turn on the government.

The magistrate, a man in appearance whom the French would call a typical rosbif, told me with indignation the latest government wheeze to mislead the public about the prevalence of crime in Britain. Henceforth, shoplifters who steal less than £200 worth of goods will be summarily fined £80, just as if they had parked on double yellow lines, and their crime not recorded anywhere.

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