Dear Mary

10 October 2009

Your problems solved

Q. We have great friends with whom we go out six times a year to expensive restaurants and take it in turns to pay. The last two times they have said it was our turn to pay when, in fact, it was their turn. We really want to go on going out with them but it is getting very expensive. We are sure it is an oversight, not meanness. What to do?

H.S., Maida Vale, London

A. Next time you plan an outing drawl in an absentminded manner: ‘Now you paid the last two times so it’s our turn to take you… No, hang on a minute, that’s wrong. I’ve just been looking at our credit card statement. We paid the last two times so it’s your turn. Do you mind?’ Quickly cushion the minor blow by adding. ‘Why don’t you choose where we go, then?’

Q. I fear the advice to your correspondent, (19 September) that he continues to consume the cat food privately, is less than prudent. Excessive consumption could well result in him breaking his neck, trying to lick behind his ears.

A.M.M., Aberdeenshire

A. You refer to our reader in the West Indies who, caught short by the unexpected arrival of guests for drinks, found that tinned cat food with brandy added made an excellent pate for cocktail snacks. I advised that he did not serve it to guests again, but could continue to consume it privately. Thank you for writing.