Diary – 31 January 2013

It’s a rum go, working in sport professionally. Your business is everybody else’s fun; their frivolity is your seriousness. Still, at least I was able to watch the Australian Open Final in Norfolk this year. Two years ago I watched the semi-final in a landside bar at Terminal Three. When Andy Murray won, I invented

Opposite bishops

No, not the Church of England and its troubles with the question of whether women should be allowed to be bishops, but chess endgames, with rival bishops moving respectively on black and white squares. Traditionally, the fact that the bishops can play, as it were, past each other increases the possibility of a draw, as

Dear Mary | 31 January 2013

Q. Having recently relocated to my company’s Russian office, I now report to an uncouth Homo sovieticus. Knowing he’s the product of a society that had no time for so-called ‘bourgeois niceties’, I try not to judge when he slurps or speaks with his mouth full or places his knife and fork away from himself

Onesie

The onesie has brought Britain one step nearer fainéant infantilism than the slanket. The slanket, a portmanteau of sleeved and blanket, reached a height of popularity in 2009. It looked like a monk’s habit, except it fastened at the back, like a hospital gown. The slanket’s purpose was cosiness while watching television, which people in

Puzzle no. 251

Black to play. This position is a variation from Caruana-Nakamura, Wijk aan Zee 2013. Black is two pawns down but White is badly tied up. How can Black continue? Answers to me at The Spectator by Tuesday 5 February or via email to victoria@spectator.co.uk or by fax on 020 7681 3773. The winner will be

High life | 31 January 2013

Good for you, Clive, as in James, on your television criticism for the Telegraph. Not many people nowadays know how good a painter Gerald Murphy was. Richard E. Grant pointed this out in his programme The Riviera: A History in Pictures, and Clive praised him for it. Clive James is weak on health but very

Low life | 31 January 2013

A superstitious Devon woman who lived and died in the residential home run by my parents, used to reckon that, if her first glimpse of a new moon was through a window or in a mirror, she was in for a month of rotten luck. If she first saw the new moon when she was

Real life | 31 January 2013

When it is too painful to go forward any more, it is time to go back. And so it was that I found myself in the Oxfam bookshop down a little cobbled street, buying second-hand vinyl records. I had not gone into the Oxfam bookshop to buy vinyl records. I had gone in to see

Long life | 31 January 2013

I went to a funeral last Saturday, a depressingly frequent occurrence at my age. But it was an exceptional funeral, not only because of its gloriously peaceful rural setting amid the still snow-flecked hills of north-west Hampshire, or because of the beauty of the service that took place in the tiny village of Tangley’s charming

Bridge | 31 January 2013

Once you’ve made a fool of yourself in public often enough, you pretty much stop minding. At least, that’s my experience of playing bridge on Vugraph (which is broadcast online, for all to watch). These days, all major national and international tournaments are shown online, so there’s no getting away from it; but you quickly

Letters | 31 January 2013

Reforming criminal justice Sir: Crime continues to fall under this government and is now at its lowest level since the crime survey began in 1982. But we can’t be complacent. We still see too many of the same faces going round and round the criminal justice system, as Theodore Dalrymple notes in his article ‘The

Barometer | 31 January 2013

A desert mystery Insurgents were reported to have burned tens of thousands of ancient manuscripts in Timbuktu as French troops surrounded the city. Timbuktu has long been a byword for a distant and unreachable place. But how did it come to be so? — No European is known to have visited Timbuktu until Robert Adams,

Toby Young

Kenyan highways

Before setting off for Kenya, where I’m spending six weeks helping The Spectator’s ‘Wild life’ columnist, Aidan Hartley, set up a school, I worried about the safety of my family. Would I be exposing my wife and four children to danger? I’d heard a lot of horror stories about violent crimes committed against the white

Socrates vs Rod Liddle

Last week Rod Liddle suggested that on Question Time the Cambridge classicist Professor Mary Beard did not distinguish herself on the subject of immigration, and concluded that the BBC hired her only for her looks. Socrates would have had something to say about that. In Plato’s dialogue Protagoras, Socrates opens a discussion with the famous

Portrait of the week | 31 January 2013

Home Britain decided to send 40 ‘military advisers’ to Mali, 70 more with an RAF Sentinel surveillance aircraft and 20 with a C17 transport plane, and 200 to neighbouring states in a training role; Britain was ‘keen’, according to Downing Street, to aid France there. David Cameron, the Prime Minister, visited Algeria. The British economy

Bad care

When the letters ‘NHS’ appeared to the world above the dancing nurses at the Olympic opening ceremony, many in Britain will have imagined two darker words hovering alongside: ‘Mid Staffs’. Few of those affected will have been able to forget what now seems to be one of the greatest scandals in the history of British

2098: Song IX

Four unclued lights might justly sing ‘4D/18/13’ (five words in total). A relevant pair of clued lights must be shaded.   Across 10    European secretes strange smeary enzyme (10) 11    Botanical description half recorded by child (6) 12    Big browser nibbled wood sorrel for pudding (7) 14    Welshman that is backing Nauru (5) 15