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High life

Watch out, London: I might be moving back

The women are better than those in New York, and most of my friends live there

21 July 2018

9:00 AM

21 July 2018

9:00 AM

New York

I am seriously thinking of moving back to London. The family insists on it. New York, they say, is much too far away and much too shabby. Basically, the Bagel’s attractions are the karate, the occasional judo session, and the weekly Brooklyn parties chez Michael Mailer. The women are better in London, but the real draw are the friends. I have many in London, very few in New York.

The past fortnight in London was magical. Then the scene went sour, as parasites and social-justice warriors such as Bianca Jagger and Ed Miliband jumped in to hog the headlines, joining protesters in calling Trumpa racist, a sexist, an Islamophobic bigot and a hate-monger. La Jagger was described in the media as an actress. Funny that. I suppose they couldn’t describe her otherwise in case she sued. She’s as worthless as Miliband and has been hanging around as a political activist since the 1960s. Amazing what a brief marriage to a rock star can do for a nobody. And the press takes her seriously.


What made me sad was to see London being taken over by shouters, haters and shrill left-wingers posing as lovers of the poor and discriminated against. These self-righteous tinpot dictators filled the streets and had their moment of glory while the media enjoyed filming and quoting them. What bullshit. Sadiq Khan is the worst mayor poor London has ever had, and to misquote my colleague Rod Liddle, I’d rather watch a colonoscopy performed on Diane Abbott than listen to the bigoted-against-white people Khan crap. London is becoming the murder capital of the civilised world, and this clown bangs on about Trump, whose country is enjoying low unemployment and a booming economy, and adopting a new approach towards Uncle Sam’s perennial users — Mexico, China, Europe and Canada.

When a gent like Sir Christopher Meyer is badly injured in broad daylight in an incident involving two youths who are then released by the police, it’s time for a change. This hate campaign against the law-abiding white Christian community has its roots in the PC campaign long waged by the social-justice warriors. People are being convicted for telling un-PC jokes, while violent crime soars. The shouters and the haters on the streets have managed to dominate the headlines and influence the way people think. It’s OK for Mugabe, who murdered thousands of his citizens, to come to London and be fêted, but not Trump.

Oh, how I miss that severe, stiff-upper-lip demeanour. The understatement of Terence Rattigan. The Brits who used to be ashamed of their emotions. This was the England I first came to. I remember seeing a tweedy lady of a certain age with pony-club badges hanging from her handbag addressing a salesman in a chemist shop in a very la-di-dah accent but a very soft voice: ‘I am so terribly sorry to bother you, but could you possibly tell me where the hair shampoos are located?’

Yes, I know, that is all gone with the wind. But it doesn’t stop me from missing it and wanting it to come back. We can start with a return to good manners. And speaking of bad ones, how did you like Alastair Campbell, who shamelessly promoted the Big Lie when it came to the Iraq war, being photographed making offensive hand signals? There is not a sign of regret over the hundreds of thousands of dead and misplaced persons in the aftermath of that war by those who engineered it. It’s just as bad in America, where neocons of this world — the Frums, Kristols and Kagans — are now enjoying another prelude to war, this time the Saudis and Israelis against the Iranians. Their crimes against humanity, their unethical plotting to get Uncle Sam involved, has gone unpunished. So what else is new?

I’ll tell you what. The sainted editor didn’t think it was as bad as I make it out to be in his column last Friday in the Telegraph, but I do believe there is a secret plan to foil Brexit on the part of Madame May and her fellow Remainers in the cabinet. Just imagine if Neville Chamberlain and Lord Halifax had had a secret scheme to pursue a much softer policy towards Hitler, and pursued it to the hilt. They’d have been called traitors, and either executed or jailed for life. If Theresa May succeeds, she’ll be considered a great prime minister. She has given in to the dictatorship that is the EU, and is using stealth to hide it from the 17 million plus who voted for freedom and independence. The Chequers paper is like that white sheet poor Neville waved after Munich. The establishment elite is going to have its way, and the poor schmucks who voted to get out will go back to the pub. Such are the ways of the world.

In the meantime, my daughter the countess has found happiness in a very happy place. I am torn between London and the Bagel. As a certain Nigel Dempster used to say, watch this space.


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