Competition | 26 September 2009

In Competition No. 2614 you were invited to submit a press release by the tourist board of one of the following fictional holiday destinations: Lilliput; Wonderland; Oceania; Brave New World. The entry was split fairly evenly between the first three destinations, while the prospect of trying to entice visitors to what Huxley referred to as a ‘negative utopia’ left you cold. Well, not quite: a solitary cheerleader in the wilderness was Susan McLean, who made a spirited if ultimately unconvincing case for ‘a vacation from morality’. Lilliput and Wonderland were undoubtedly easier to sell than Oceania, but a doughty few pulled off the impressive feat of making Orwell’s totalitarian horrors sound like a compelling reason to book a trip.

I was charmed by Gail White’s puff for Lilliput, the weight-watcher’s dream destination: ‘Enjoy our fabulous restaurants. You won’t gain an ounce!’ And Juliet Walker, Gillian Ewing and John O’Byrne also impressed. The winners, printed below, get £30 each; Chris O’Carroll bags £35.

Last week, the first line of Tim Raikes’s winning entry was lost in transit. It should have read: ‘Edwina was so highly Sexed’.

For a holiday experience that towers above the rest, escape to this miniaturised island paradise, where our picturesquely petit natives take pride in their larger-than-life hospitality. There’s nothing diminutive about the good times you’ll enjoy as you eat your eggs any way you prefer in modern-day Lilliput, where venerable dining traditions, rigidly enforced in centuries past, have relaxed to accommodate foreign visitors who can barely distinguish the big and little ends of the internationally acclaimed delicacies produced by hens many times smaller than the average hummingbird. Unique recreational opportunities abound in this unforgettable bandbox getaway. Let your inner giant stand tall at our celebrated Fleet-Towing Invitational and our trousers-optional Firefighting Gala.