Q. My first book comes out next month and the publishers are launching it with a drinks party in a London bookshop between 6.30 and 8 p.m. I can count at least 20 old friends and family, to say nothing of my editor and publicist, who will naturally expect me to have dinner with them afterwards. We don’t have a London flat any more. My husband would love to take ten people out to dinner but not 20 — not because of the expense, but because of the noise and the chaos. How do I choose without upsetting people?
—Name withheld, Warwickshire
A. You could be certain of hurting no one by planning to drive straight back to Warwickshire after the party, on the understandable grounds that you will be ‘too shattered’ to have dinner. Otherwise it should be possible to ask a discreet London-based friend to give dinner for ten in his own home. Let him choose and invite the selected seven extras. He need not include the publicist or editor — as a general rule they are relieved not to be asked to post-launch dinners. In this way you can tell others, sincerely, that you would have loved to have joined them afterwards but ‘X’ is giving a dinner for you. Secretly your husband will have sent two cases of wine — the leftovers should compensate ‘X’ for his efforts.
Q. My flatmate flirts indiscriminately with every single male who walks through the door. Although she has no desire to go out with any of them and just wants reassurance (she is a professional actor), she comes across as totally convincing and they all believe that she fancies them. As she is incredibly beautiful, they are so distracted by her that they can’t talk properly to me.
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