Q. Having previously lived in the country in a field with my nearest neighbour not even visible, I recently moved to a large village. I inherited a nice garden with lots of shrubs and perennials that make me very happy. However, my neighbour, whom I like and have for dinner, also likes my garden plants and secretly helps herself to my flowers. I have even been to her house and seen my delphiniums in a vase on her table. I’m new to the area and I want to keep the friends I’m starting to make, but I really mind her barefaced thievery. What do I do?
– E.B., Oneonta, New York
A. A potent theme in American horror films (e.g. Amityville) is hauntings consequent to building houses on, or otherwise defiling, First Nation burial grounds. Chattily tell your neighbour that a First Nations woman, who cleaned for you briefly, told you that a part of your garden encroaches on an ancient sacred site and that anyone picking its flowers risks incurring the wrath of the spirits. Pull horror film faces while you tell this, brushing off the idea as ludicrous. You will soon see an end to the nuisance.
Q. I have been dating a new person recently and it’s going rather well. The only problem is he usually comes to my house and I have a bad moth problem. I tend to wear designer dresses made with natural fibres. He gets offended when, no sooner than he has thrown my clothes to the floor, I immediately pick them up, fold them neatly and zip them into a moth-proof bag.
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