Monday
Very odd thing has happened. Was in Starbucks queuing for brownies when gorgeous Alessio fixed me with his sultry stare and said, ‘Hey, lady, you leave your things!’ And produced my folder of emails! He said it fell off the counter, and he’s sorry it’s soggy but it landed in a puddle of semi-skimmed.
So I didn’t leak the emails after all!
Am so disappointed. Was enjoying being femme fatale and having everyone treading on eggshells.
Tuesday
Another Tory belief successfully ditched! Rail privatisation goes the way of patient passports, tax cuts, leaving the EPP and fighting crime. (‘To the great resting place of principles in the sky,’ Nigel says.) Dave is ripping through them! If he goes on
at this rate we’ll be well ahead of schedule on the ‘core-vote-shedding’ strategy. Mr Letwin reckons we can safely lose a million ‘saddos’. Says that’s a ‘conservative’ estimate — and then chuckles to himself as we all shuffle with embarrassment and look at our watches.
Still, Mr Letwin is definitely on form and v excited as IDS has found him a group of youths who have agreed to go to his house for dinner. Says confit de canard and crème brûlée will turn their lives around (‘Even better than a hug, one might venture!’). Nigel says he hopes ‘Smithy’ has found some docile ones. Some of the hoodies he does his social justice experiments on are pretty near the end of their tether. They were right as rain before he started on them.
DD strutting around telling everyone about his ‘mug a hoodie’ strategy. Poppy exhausted. Says whenever Dave does something soppy, DD gets a massive surge of energy. She has a theory that if DC ever turned macho, DD would shrivel into a little ball and disappear.
Wednesday
Yet another press release claiming it’s ‘still early days’ for the A-list.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in