Steerpike Steerpike

Harry’s mission to save the royal family

Prince Harry (Credit: Getty images)

In his new memoir, Prince Harry claims that he regarded the 25 Taliban fighters he killed as ‘chess pieces’ not human beings. Yet Mr Steerpike can’t help but wonder if the young soldier prince didn’t learn something useful from his adversaries in war – the art of suicide-bombing. At least, in a literary sense, that is. 

Spare, the memoir, is dynamite, no doubt about that. It’s hard to think of any book that has blown up quite so instantly and spectacularly in the face of its author.

The details from the book, which started to flood out yesterday, have left Harry’s dwindling band of supporters feeling bewildered. 

Harry knew he had to trash himself. Greater love hath no man than this…

Why does he seem to be showing off about how many lives he took in war? Why does he refer to himself as a ‘young stallion’ as he gives away wince-inducing details of the way he lost his virginity? Does he not see how that makes him come across? Is this some complicated cry for help? 

People who know him are incredulous. ‘So sad,’ is what an old friend of Harry’s told Mr S last night. ‘Can’t believe he’s doing this.’ It’s a good question — why would anyone embarrass themselves so royally? 

Well, Steerpike has a theory, if you’ll indulge. Harry, the loyal soldier, is on a top secret mission to save the royal family. He’s doing so by destroying himself for their benefit. 

Lots of monarchists have been greatly concerned that, after the death of the Queen, the House of Windsor would fall apart. King Charles can never be as popular as the Elizabeth II. The younger royals — not just Harry and Meghan — simply cannot resist meddling in politics and PR shenanigans.

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Steerpike
Written by
Steerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike

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