I see that they have gone for Jane Austen as the face of the new ten pound note, after a long and bitter row. I find it incredible that they decided not to take the chance to show a true commitment to multicultural diversity and have instead chosen some boring dead white woman. I wrote to the authorities demanding that the fiery Islamic organiser Anjem Choudary have his face on the note. After all, as taxpayers we give him enough of the stuff every year. But this was rejected out of hand, sadly.
Choudary has backed a new organisation, called Islamic Emergency Defence. The initials are a deliberate reference to the improvised explosive devices which kill our soldiers in Afghanistan, as well as a nod of respect to the English Defence League, an organisation which this half-wit secretly admires. There is still no movement on the £25,000 we pay him in rent each year, despite promises that the whole thing was to be investigated. Would he have got away with this for so long if he was, say, a Methodist imbecile, rather than a Muslim imbecile?