Charlotte Gill

The truth? Most women can’t ‘have it all’

Many of my friends are terrified of having babies. It’s the childbirth process that frightens them. And once upon a time I would laugh at their concerns and say something, like: ‘yeah, but it’s all worth it.’ Because I love babies.

But now I’m terrified of them too, for different reasons. I was recently asked to prepare a talk on the gender pay gap. With an open mind, I spent hours combing over research – to find out if my sex is really underpaid, and – if so – why this is. I came to the conclusion that babies aren’t a good idea for any woman who values her career. Indeed, not the cutest one in the world can distract me from what I saw over those weeks; evidence upon evidence that they’re going to destroy my career.

I’m safe currently, at 27 years of age. Between the ages of 22 to 29, government data shows that women actually get paid more than men for full-time work – so that’s two more years I can enjoy of pay supremacy. Then something happens. We start to settle down, enticed by men with beards, ukuleles – and who knows what else – and have babies.

This is when everything goes wrong – even if our husband said he was a feminist. The Women and Equalities Committee has found that women routinely take the brunt of childcare, which forces us into flexible jobs (the worst paid across almost every industry). From then onwards, we’re stuck. The career ladder doesn’t just stop, it completely falls away.

Why does no one tell us this at school? I was educated about STDs and pregnancy, but was never told that children might cost me my dream job.

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