Tracey Emin has married a rock - but did the stone give consent?

Tracey Emin has married a rock - but did the stone give consent?
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It's a tough world out there for singletons in the digital age. Although dating apps like Tinder mean it's never been easier to look for love, many find that any such romance is fleeting and miss the days of proper courtship.

So, perhaps that's why some women are now thinking outside the box. The artist Tracey Emin has announced that she has finally taken the plunge and got hitched. However, rather than a lucky man or woman, Emin has found love with a... rock.

Yes, Emin has married an inanimate object after the pair met in France. For the ceremony, Emin wore her father’s white funeral shroud. While the ancient stone is thought to be quite a bit older than the 52-year-old artist, the pair are now living in marital bliss -- with the rock based in her garden:

'It's in my garden, it's very nice and very impressive and I like it a lot.'

The artist says she feels very secure in her new relationship as the stone is not going anywhere.

'It just means that at the moment I am not alone; somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere.'

However, one thought is troubling Mr S. What is the protocol when it comes to marrying inanimate objects? It's difficult to see how the rock could have said 'I do' and given consent to the marriage.

Could the rock actually be the victim of a forced marriage -- unable to leave or voice any objections to its new wife?

Written bySteerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from London and beyond. Email tips to

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