Grizelda

‘I suppose I have become a bit institutionalised over the years.’

Institutionalised

27 January 2018 9:00 am

‘He has a 25-year plan to reform.’

Plan

20 January 2018 9:00 am

Toy soldiers

13 January 2018 9:00 am

‘Whatever you do kids, don’t become a figure of hate for the left.’

Twitter

13 January 2018 9:00 am

‘We’re doing really wet January.’

Wet January

6 January 2018 9:00 am

‘Have you tried taking all the joy out of life?’

Weight loss

6 January 2018 9:00 am

‘Ahh! Look at the kids playing with the packaging.’

Unwrapped

16 December 2017 9:00 am

‘Your father’s going to do Dry January in 2021.’

Drunk

16 December 2017 9:00 am

‘You must agree to our terms and conditions before crossing the border.’

Agree

9 December 2017 9:00 am

‘Grr! Look at him, always looking on the bright side of life.’

Remain

2 December 2017 9:00 am

‘For God’s sake, don’t let the public see his human side!’

Human side

2 December 2017 9:00 am

‘You need to learn the centre.’

Right and Left

25 November 2017 9:00 am

Poll

18 November 2017 9:00 am

‘This is where we manage the Tories’ social media campaign.’

Tories

18 November 2017 9:00 am

Chat

11 November 2017 9:00 am

‘I’d like to work in a field that isn’t overrun with sexual predators…’

Advice

4 November 2017 9:00 am

Socialist elite

28 October 2017 9:00 am

Weight

28 October 2017 9:00 am

‘I’m worried I’m spending too much time offline.’

Offline

21 October 2017 9:00 am

Door

21 October 2017 9:00 am

‘Can’t you go out and be angry like other young people?’

Sofa

14 October 2017 9:00 am

‘Well, Jeff gave his opinion the loudest, so let’s go with his idea.’

Meeting

30 September 2017 9:00 am

‘This area’s popular with people who go on to develop special dietary requirements.’

Estate agent

23 September 2017 9:00 am

popcorn

23 September 2017 9:00 am

‘My Facebook ads are the only ones that truly know me...’

Facebook

16 September 2017 9:00 am

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Cartoons

‘Least said, texted, tweeted, retweeted, Instagrammed, posted, uploaded, shared, blogged, vlogged and Snapchatted, soonest mended.’
‘Least said, texted, tweeted, retweeted, Instagrammed, posted, uploaded, shared, blogged, vlogged and Snapchatted, soonest mended.’
‘At least Chris Grayling isn’t in charge of the ferry.’
‘At least Chris Grayling isn’t in charge of the ferry.’
‘Before you say it, no — you can’t hand in a marriage licence.’
‘Before you say it, no — you can’t hand in a marriage licence.’
‘Oh no! We’ve woken up too early and haven’t missed Brexit!’
‘Oh no! We’ve woken up too early and haven’t missed Brexit!’
‘Brexit? I’m stockpiling for a new statue of Thatcher.’
‘Brexit? I’m stockpiling for a new statue of Thatcher.’
‘A woman aged 55 could have painted it.’
‘A woman aged 55 could have painted it.’
‘A bit late for that — they’ve already appointed Nick Clegg.’
‘A bit late for that — they’ve already appointed Nick Clegg.’
‘On a clear day you can see five county lines drugs rackets.’
‘On a clear day you can see five county lines drugs rackets.’
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