Mary solves your problems: Should I tell the hostess if I see a rat on her patio?
Q. My partner and I recently had two close friends — one a Peer, the other a former Member of the…
Mary answers your problems: is it acceptable to serve a puff pastry circle on a steak pie?
Q. Some rather flashy new neighbours of ours — I won’t mention their names as his will be familiar to…
Mary solves your problems: How do I dodge my annoying chatty neighbour?
Q. Our best friends own a house in Morocco which sleeps about ten. They rent it out but go two…
Mary solves your problems: We forgot our guests’ names and couldn’t introduce them
Q. I am in my seventies and my husband is in his nineties. The other night we had two couples…
With far too many funerals to attend, how do I support my grieving chums?
Q. Mary, I am what you would probably call a Sloane Ranger. I have great numbers of close friends and…
Never chuck an invite for a better one... unless it’s from the Queen
Q. I was brought up to stick rigidly to any invitation accepted and never to ‘chuck’ when a better one…
Lots of my friends are turning 40 – how do I cope with the boring, drunken birthday dinners?
Q. I’m shortly to host a very large family gathering. Everyone will be related to the same ancestor, so we…
How can I stop my children renting out their flats and coming to stay?
Q. My children are very lucky in that we have bought them all flats. However, they are now renting out…
How can I get more likes for my amazing Instagram posts?
Q. Last summer a friend of my brother-in-law’s house-sat for us while we were in Greece for a week. We…
Dear Mary: what’s the etiquette when security gates don’t just open?
Q. Is there an etiquette regarding security gates? My wife and I were invited to dinner by new neighbours who…
Dear Mary: our friend’s new wife is a horror show. How can we avoid her?
Q. ‘Alfred’ is a friend of 30 years’ standing who has just married for the first time. Alfred retains all…
Is the (occasional) glance permissible when presented with a splendid décolletage?
Q. We have friends to stay each year in Scotland and it’s always a pleasure. Guests know there is signal…
How can I get the buyer of a supermarket to notice my products?
Q. I import a range of very high-quality food products from Europe into the UK. They are regarded as the…
My husband keeps pointing out birds in our garden but I can’t see them
Q. Having retired, my husband is now an enthusiastic observer of the goldfinches, greenfinches and bullfinches in our garden. Their…
How can I stop a friend posting photos on Instagram of my parties?
Q. We have received a ‘save the week’ card from friends who take a villa abroad every year. We usually…
How to make the most of the social opportunities of the polling station
Q. I am a member of a well-known country house opera society, and I organise annual trips to performances for…
No need for excuses with party bores... it’s your duty to circulate
Q. Re getting away from bores at drinks parties (Dear Mary, 20 May). I take issue with the idea that…
Dear Mary: how do you excuse yourself from a dull conversation?
Q. My mother always told me that only boring people are bored. However she never got stuck at a drinks…
Stop carping at having to buy a holiday gift for your cleaner. It’s vital
Q. My 23-year-old son has taught himself to play the piano, learning the theme tune to The Truman Show without…
My cleaner is brilliant but how can I stop her working in bare feet?
Q. I have a very good cleaner who comes once a week. She is far more efficient than anyone I’ve…
How can we avoid looking like 'awful oiks' at the Fourth of June?
Q. New colleagues invited us to lunch but didn’t warn us that the clippings had not been cleared up from…
How do you reject someone but still spare their feelings?
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers wishing to reject a hopeful romantic partner without hurting their feelings?…
Does a gentleman raise his hat once or twice to a lesbian couple?
Q. My aunt lives in a small market town with narrow roads and limited parking. A neighbour opposite acquired a…
What can be done about flakes who cancel at the last minute?
A friend of a friend hosted an engagement party in a London hotel. Invitations had gone out six weeks beforehand,…
Dear Mary: Am I obliged to regale my sponsor with anecdotes from my life?
Q. As an artist I’m indebted to my sponsor. I also like him, but not his habit of ringing me…
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